By the end of the second evening, I told myself that 1.5 days is enough to spend in Vegas. On the first night, we had walked the strip, from the unpretentious Travelodge, past the new, shiny Planet Hollywood, the elaborate Paris!, the tacky Buffalo Bill's, and the legs-galore Flamingo, all the way to Treasure Island, whose water show was canceled due to high winds. We were inundated with sparkly lights everywhere, music piped through hidden speakers, men with microphones luring us with "You too can win $1000 on one pull of the lever. Why, look at this man here...", and hundreds of Latino men and women who shoved business cards in front of Robby. These pictured nearly nude women and phone numbers - prostitutes, escorts, call girls, whatever they're called. In the evening, we saw a wonderfully quaint drag show at the Harmon Theater. It was the cheapest show we could find, at $35 per person, including dinner. Albeit, the dinner was disgustingly greasy Chinese food. But the drag show was fantastic. It consisted of 6 large and busty transvestites, like Miss Conception (the MC), Alexis Dealer, and Nia Simone. They wore glittery make-up, 6-inch stilettos, fancy dresses, and large wigs. Nia Simone was the resident clothing designer, and her creations were creative. Each one came out lip syncing a famous pop song and gesturing in lewd and lascivious ways. As they danced down aisles, they flirted with the patrons & took $1 bills. One drag queen dressed as Erykah Badu and sang "Tyrone". She wore a 4-foot-high head wrap for the first half of the song and reappeared with an enormous afro for the second half. The only blonde wore a stewardess outfit and danced to Britney Spear's toxic. The crass and raunchy MC, Miss Conception, was by far the most talented. She lip synced a slow hit single by Evanescence and a Rocky Horror Picture Show song. She made it all look so easy, and she had the perfect facial expressions and gestures to fit each beat and note.
What about the patrons? They were from all walks of life - mostly women. Many more old people that I had expected. There were at least 5 people over the age of 65. One bachelorette party and a large female party with a handful of gay men. All in all, a seemingly wholesome crowd, which surprised me. I guess they had come to see a semi-bawdy vaudeville show. Nothing visual was crude or remotely R-rated, though Miss Conception was pretty crude in speech.
Photo below: Erykah Badu's "Tyrone"
As for gambling, I lost $31 and felt quite satisfied that I had the Las Vegas experience. Robby played roulette, video poker, craps, and Texas Hold'em. I wanted to play Texas Hold'em but it got too late. I lost interest in roulette quickly because it was so easy to lose money quickly.
With the huge crowds in Las Vegas, one wouldn't think that the country is currently experiencing a recession. Traffic was horrendous, the sidewalks were teeming with tourists, and the Cirque du Soleil show seemed sold out. People crowded around gambling tables with stacks of chips, ready to let go of their money at a roll of a die. Recession? What recession? What economic collapse?
Me, I got tired of seeing scantily clad women walking long stretches from one massive hotel to another in 55-degree weather. Saturday was the coldest day of the year to date, and, still, women shuffled along sidewalks without coats, their butts sagging out of super-tight shorts. What bothered me most were women who subjected themselves to 4+ -inch heels. They either wobbled like teetering ballerinas or pushed their hip outward, looking like upright mules. Watching women in heels pains me because I know that NO woman can feel comfortable wearing a pair of heels over a long period of time (by "long", I mean more than 15 minutes of walking). Imagining their pain makes me cringe, makes me pity them. How stupid they are to sacrifice comfort for beauty.
So, this is Las Vegas, where people learn both the insignificance of money and (oppositely) the glamor and prestige that comes with it. Overabundant opulence through and through.
Photo below: I'm exclaiming, "I can't believe I'm in Europe!"
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