Choo-choo train!

Day Three:

We missed our 8 o'clock train from Portland to Seattle, and the seats on the 12 o'clock train were booked, but we were content taking the 3 o'clock since it meant more time in Portland. We wandered back up to the Pearl District to search for Tanner Springs Park. Then we headed back to the hotel, put down Atticus for a nap, packed, and took the light rail to Union Station in Chinatown where we'd catch the train.

Atticus was super-excited to take the train. I couldn't count the number of times he said, "choo choo train!" But he was a handful. He wouldn't sit still, so Robby walked up & down the aisles of the train cars to keep him occupied. It was a beautiful three-hour ride up to Seattle - deer, lakes, steel bridges, even a sunset. We were busy keeping an eye on Atticus most of the time, but it would have been nice to sit back & watch the passing scenery.

Robby's relatives took us in when we arrived. They took us to the Space Needle to see the New Year's fireworks, which were shot out of the sides and top of the Space Needle. It's so comforting being with family after a few days of trekking through a new city and returning to a sterile room.

Whoa, facial hair galore!

Day Two:

Today, we decided to be more Atticus-centric and vowed to return from our first outing by 11:30am, so that he could get an afternoon nap.

We took the light rail & bus to the Hawthorne District, the so-called hippest neighborhood in Portland right now (comparable to Williamsburg, Brooklyn). We had breakfast at Jam on Hawthorne, another well reviewed breakfast joint on Yelp (275 reviews; 4 stars), which also had a large children's play area. We chatted with some table neighbors - a couple with baby girl. They were super-nice and told us all about their experience living in Portland. Atticus kept himself busy in the play area until breakfast came. The waitress served him water in the coolest sippy cup, and there was a stand with white paper & scissors, where patrons were encouraged to cut snowflakes (the entire restaurant had patron-made snowflakes hanging from the ceiling).

We hopped back on the bus & continued down Hawthorne Blvd. until we got to the Baghdad Theater. The street was line with vintage clothing stores, gift shops, & boutiques. We moseyed around until Atticus got annoyed having to sit in the stroller for so long...and headed back to our hotel. We got lunch from some food trucks near by (I got Pad See Ew, while Robby got Stir-fried Ginger Tofu with Rice) & ate in the hotel room before Atticus napped.

In the afternoon, we headed south to Portland State University. Robby wanted to peek around the campus to get a feel for it. It's an urban campus (as urban as Portland can get...not really, that is). But it did feel a little like NYU, where the university's buildings are intertwined with the city itself. There was no campus wall or entrance...no pedestrian quads.

We met Robby's friend for dinner at the hotels restaurant Red Star. This is the worst restaurant I've been to since we've arrived to Portland. It was over-priced & the food was mediocre. I ordered a side dish of short ribs, garnished with cucumber & yogurt & roasted hazelnuts. The hazelnuts were so hard that they were inedible. The ribs were too fatty & chewy that I spit out nearly every piece that I had eaten. Atticus's homemade chicken noodle soup was too salty & its tarragon flavoring was too strong. I was even more disappointed when I got the check. I don't even want to think about - it makes my heart hurt to think we wasted money on such a crappy meal. I wanted to each their for convenience - we could put Atticus to bed quickly if we ate near by - but I should have looked at its reviews first (mediocre: 166 reviews, 3.5 stars).

_________________________

The most definitive, appealing aspect of Portland that both Robby & I noticed:

PEOPLE IN PORTLAND ARE REALLY, REALLY FRIENDLY.

We have not met one mean person in Portland. We've had friendly banter with bus drivers, waitresses, fellow restaurant patrons, parents, old people...

There is definitely a fashion sense unique to Portland. Men with all sorts of facial hair, pea coats, tight jeans & either fashionable sneakers or large boots. Women layered in woolen skirts, knee-high boots, scarves, and cross-shoulder bags.

We also noticed that the city seems empty. Robby's friend informed us that most people go home for the holidays, so people don't come visit this time of year. Also, he enlightened us about this bit about Portland: people don't come for jobs because they're aren't any; they come because they want to live here...they like the lifestyle. So, people here tend to be like-minded. I can imagine one giving up a lucrative career in a big city in order to live a peaceful life in Portland. It's got a sense of community that I've never experienced anywhere. Robby is completely enamored with this small city, so maybe in the future we'll find our way back to the West Coast via the Northwest.

Portland, OR

It's been four months since I've written a blog posting. We have been busy with everyday life and packing for Michigan. We are finally out of our apartment in the lovely Culver City (sniff sniff), and our plentiful but humble belonging are en route on a move truck to East Lansing, Michigan.

Before we make the big move eastward, we are visiting the coolest town in the northwest: Portland, OR. We've heard so much about it from others & from the NY Times, that we decided to take one final hurrah trip before settling in the Midwest far from West Coast culture and family. We'll be here 3 days and in Seattle 2 days.

We're staying at the Hotel Monaco in the City Center. It looks upscale, but we got a suite for $150/night. It's got both modern and baroque-style furnishings, kind of Z-Gallerie-ish. It's a dog friendly hotel, so dogs stay with their owners in the rooms. & there's free wine tasting from 5-6pm every night, including live piano music and a painter's corner (with easel, acrylic paints, and canvases).

Day One:

We headed out of the hotel at 9am northward toward Mother's Bistro & Bar, a well-reviewed (700 reviews on Yelp - totally unheard of...700+ reviews?! - 4 stars!). The decor was amazing - like a tea room...chandeliers, vintage mirrors all over the walls - the whole place had a warm glow to it. Plus, there was a children's play area. This aspect of the restaurant was key because if Atticus hasn't eaten by 9am, he is a huge, grumpy monster, so the play area took his mind off his belly. We were amazed (second time I've used this word in this paragraph) by the idea of having a kids' play area in a restaurant. Where else would a business be so considerate? It would be totally unheard of in LA, where child-friendly & child-unfriendly places are clearly demarcated.

After breakfast we walked through Chinatown, a desolate, empty neighborhood with many boarded up windows. Our desination: Lan Su Gardens - a Suzhou-style garden with stone mosaic walkways, water fountains, coi, rocks & water, & a Tai Chi class going on on a terrace. It was a peaceful sanctuary in the middle of an already peaceful city. The only question that circled through my mind was WHERE ARE ALL THE CHINESE PEOPLE? The streets of Chinatown were vacant of businesses and residents, none of the tai chi practitioners were Asian, & the instructor wasn't Asian either. So What's the deal with Chinatown? & why does it still exist if there aren't any Chinese people to occupy it?

After meandering through Lan Su Garden, we wanted an after-breakfast dessert, so we searched for Voodoo Donuts, a popular local donut joint that has over 1,700 reviews on Yelp & gets 4 stars! It got some publicity from the Food Network show called Man Vs. Food. We waited in line for about 15 minutes then chatted with the man behind us from Costa Mesa. The pink interior was partnered with an upbeat Kanye song, so we were especially excited when we got inside. Voodoo Donuts has an array of unusual and creatively named donuts: bacon maple bar, voodoo doll (in the shape of one & filled with raspberry jelly), Optimus Prime (shaped and frosted like the Transformer), donuts topped with cereal, like Captain My Captain (Captain Crunch) & The Loop (Fruit Loops), Tangtastic (topped with vanilla frosting & Tang, & Old Dirty Bastard (Oreos & peanut butter). Robby ordered the famous Cock and Balls (basically a Boston Creme in the shape of a you-know-what) and I ordered a chocolate frosted and a Mexican Hot Chocolate cake donut, which was much spicier than I expected. We were pleased.

Chinatown was pretty depressing, so we headed to Powell's Books in the Pearl District, one of the largest, most well-organized independent bookstore that I've ever been to. It's enormous. One entire floor is dedicated to children's and young adult literature. I felt happy supporting a local business...after having made so many Amazon purchases for Christmas this month.

Robby suggested that we check out snow boots for Atticus, so we went to REI, which gave us a chance to walk through the Pearl District. Robby said that the reviewers on Yelp either loved or hated the Pearl District. Some people complained that it was too bourgie and expensive. The streets were lined with yoga studios and well-manicured boutiques.

We spent too much time at REI. We found great snowboots for Atticus, but we started looking through the sales racks for ourselves. Atticus was bored and hungry, and he hadn't gotten a proper nap (only an hourlong nap in the stroller at Powell's). We were being selfish parents at that point, dragging him to dressing rooms & making him wait while we fished for the right sizes. By the time we left REI he was livid. When we got to Lovejoy Bakers to get him some food, he exploded into a million pieces, yelled at the top of his lungs, rolled all over the floor.

We hurried back to the hotel, realized that we needed to eat, so we stopped by a parking lot lined with food trucks. Unlike Los Angeles food trucks, these were anchored to these parking spots and were housed in little trailers. They weren't actual trucks. We quickly bought food & returned to the hotel room...with Atticus screaming all the way there. Nothing appeased him, not even the pacifier. I couldn't blame him for being angry with us.

Robby ordered a pesto chicken sandwich, which he raved about, I ate an Indonesian tofu salad, & Atticus had a pork bun. All the food was delicious, & I was especially impressed by the large portions. After the early 4pm dinner, Robby urged me to go to the free yoga class in the hotel. It was pretty good, and there were only 2 students. I wore the yoga pajamas that Robby gave me for Christmas. It's got stick figures doing yoga poses on them. Super-adorable.

We turned in early, having put Atticus down to sleep at 7pm, watched a few episodes of New Girl, and called it a night. An eventful - later parent-centric - day in a wonderful city.

Day Two: East Lansing visit

I took Robby to Kellogg Conference Center for his new faculty orientation today then drove around East Lansing a bit. Someone had recommended living in the Bailey area, which is the neighborhood directly north of campus (north of Grand River Road). It's a cute little neighborhood with small, old houses. I saw a few people taking walks & walking their dog. It reminded me of Havertown, Pennsylvania. I drove up to Burcham Ave., where Deddy once lived for a month, until I hit East Lansing High School. It has an enormous campus with a student population that's half of most high schools in Los Angeles. It has large playing fields and a state-of-the-art football field (of course). I also passed a large middle school with a football field (oh brother). Burcham eastbound became windy and residential - condo complexes & tract housing. Then I came down Okemos Road and returned to my uncle's house.

The streets here are surprisingly empty. As I drove around at 8am, I was surprised by how few cars and people I saw on the big and residential streets. I hardly saw anyone leaving his house for work. I have a feeling that when next Wednesday arrives and students return to Michigan State University, the streets of East Lansing will be bustling and noisy. Still, I'm surprised to see so few residents of East Lansing out and about.

Touching Base: LA > SF > LA > HI > SF > LA > MI

It's been a long time since I've written in this. Life got kind of crazy at the end of June. My last day of teaching was on June 24th, and on that day we bolted to Napa Valley, California, for a wedding at Cornerstone Winery. We spent a few wonderful days living in North Beach (Little Italy) in San Francisco, where Atticus got to watch old Chinese people do calisthenics at Washington Square Park, we weaved through the congested Stockton Avenue with the stroller to get some good dimsum, & we saw boys plankingat Union Square in downtown SF.

We came back down to LA and spent a few weeks recuperating. I

successfully defended my dissertation proposal on July 27th, and when Robby spent a week in Germany, I went to live with my parents for a week.

Everything has been all fun & travel since the dissert

ation proposal defense. I had a girls' lunch date with Rebecca and friends in Villa Blanca, a restaurant in Beverly Hills owned by a participant in "Real Housewives of Orange County." The food was all right, every dish was chipped, the flowers in the centerpiece fading, and the menus falling apart.

Then I went to

a Japanese salon in West LA and cut 24 inches of hair. The stylist convinced me that I shouldn't get a boy cut, so I got a bob. The next day Robby went to Beverly Hills for a cut & shave, & he cut his 24 inches of hair too.

Then we drove up to San Francisco for a 1 week trip to Kauai with my sisters and t

heir families. I forgot about this blog (forgot that it was part travelogue), so I'll have to make my comments about Hawaii brief. I haven't been to Hawaii since 1987, & I've never been to Kauai before, so it was a

ll a new experience for me.

We stayed in Po'ipu, the south part of Kauai, at the Wyndham Resort (Koloa Landing). They had good airfare & hotel dea

ls, and we rented 3 condos for 3 families. There were 9 adults and 6 kids in total. Our condos faced a large children's pool that was no more than 4 feed deep. Atticus played in the 1

-foot area. Brenneker's Beach was the best place to go snorkling. Sheraton Beach was a great place to learn how to

surf. Spouting Horn was a quick, fun trip. Lydgate Park had an awesome baby beach. Tip Top Cafe for breakfast was good. We couldn't go far because the babies had to take their naps

every afternoon. This meant no long drives to the north side of Kauai nor long car trips to Waimea Canyon nor long hikes.

On the day

of our departure, United had a problem with our plane that it ignored in Los Angeles. As we sat on the plane and waited to depart, the flight crew had to decide whether to ship the missing mechanical part from Honolulu or fly us all to Honolulu & leave from there. After a few hours of waiting at the gate, United canceled our flight & sent us to a Marriott for the night. It was a huge headache, especially with small children, no milk, butt wipes, or diapers. I am still pretty irate about United's failure to fix the problem in Los Angeles, where airplane parts are plentiful.

We took a 9am flight the following morning. Atticus was wonderful in the plane, so time went by quickly. As soon as we landed in San Francisco, we hopped in our car and drove down to Los Angeles. We stopped at Harris Ranch for dinner and arrived to our home at 10:30pm. It was quite a doozy of a day.

Two days later, we drop off Atticus at my parents' and hop on a plane to Michigan.

I learned that Spirit Airlines really sucks. DON'T fly Spirit Airlines. Sure, the flights are cheap, but it charges passengers to choose seats ($10), for carry-on baggage ($35 online, $40 at the gate), and to print boarding passes at the airline counter. We didn't see anything of this coming, so we were totally taken aback by all the charges.

Now we're in Michigan to drive around and look for potential neighborhoods in which to live. Robby had a new faculty orientation tomorrow, and I'll hang out with my uncle all day.

Latest photos (kind of)

Atticus is a little sponge when it comes to verbal language. He is constantly imitating us. This evening, I said, "See?" to Robby to reinforce how right I was about something, & Atticus stood behind me and said, "See?"

Besides, his usual "baba," "mama," & "agua", he also says...

"up": Robby taught him this one

"po po": maternal grandmother

"bubble"

"scheisse": German for "shit"

"Chapu": our babysitter Liliana's son's nickname, which means grasshopper in Spanish

"dirty": for his diaper

Below is a picture of us at Robby's graduation. He hadn't officially finished his dissertation yet, so it was a pretty anti-climatic day for him. But he'll be uploading in the next day or two. Then the diploma will arrive in a few weeks. Then we'll be cutting our immensely long hair. My hair is so long that it drapes down to my butt and sometimes I tuck it into my pants by accident. I'll be very relieved to cut it short short.

He Grows Exponentially

Atticus has spent almost 10 days at my parents' house because Robby was gone last weekend for the ICA Conference & this weekend for a bachelor party. My, my, he has grown immensely from hanging out with his three older cousins (8, 5, & 3 years old).

Here are list of new things he can do now:

1. he can now peer over the breakfast table on tippy toes
2. he can say "po po" (title for mother's mother)
3. he can nod & shake head on command (in Chinese)
4. he comes down the stairs more quickly (backward on belly)
5. he likes to stick pointy things into electrical outlets and pull out plugs (all the clocks & lamps are unplugged now)
6. he takes hard things & bangs them into other hard things
7. he likes to feed himself using a spoon
8. he blinks when i blink at him
9. he really loves maya because she entertains him. mei mei can talk to him forever. she'd take his feet & pretend to smell them, then say, "ewww! stinky!" audra likes to watch him get his diaper changed because she wants to see if she has pooped. she likes to bathe next to him too.
10. he was clingy toward po po when i was gone over the weekdays.
11. all his teeth have come out, but he doesn't like to brush.
12. he has learned how to open a pen cap (already knows how to work the clicky pen)
13. he likes to draw with pencil.
14. he stands on empty boxes & climbs on stools.
15. he imitates animal noises that i read from a book ("whoo whoo, cheep cheep, mooooo, meow")
16. he says "ba ba" all the time. he misses robby. i think he is happiest when we're all together.
17. he has suddenly started preferring being held before he sleeps. oh oh. bad habit!
    

it's hard to capture his idiosyncrasies with a cameras. his fat little fingers just aren't as cute in a photograph.

Enjoying LA theater

Robby & I have been fortunate enough to find a wonderful babysitter who will watch Atticus as we explore LA theatre. Three weeks ago, we saw The Cripple of Inishmaan at our neighborhood Kirk Douglas Theatre. It was absolutely excellent, though the numerous bittersweet twists and turns in the plot left is feeling a little dizzy and unfulfilled.

Last weekend, we saw a modern adaptation of Moliere's Tartuffe, a hilariously bawdy play about a clever impostor who worms his way into a nobleman's family by acting devoutly religiously, gains the favor of the nobleman, & tricks the gullible sap into giving him the entire estate. We saw this funny play at our neighborhood theatre The Actor's Gang, which is run by actor & director Tim Robbins. It almost went bankrupt last year, but was miraculously saved (by generous donations?). The theatre sits at the corner of Washington Blvd. and Culver Blvd. in a small, beautifully renovated train station.

Yesterday, we returned to the Kirk Douglas Theatre to see Rodger Smith's Juan and John, a one-man, autobiographical story about a young boy's baseball obsession, his dealing with the 1965 violent altercation between San Francisco Giants' star pitcher Juan Marichal and Los Angeles Dodgers star catcher John Roseboro, and his childhood growing up in South Los Angeles during the Watts Riots and Vietnam War. He interviewed both baseball players and write this play using their words and his experiences. It was far more didactic that Robby would have liked. I found it too didactic in some places too, but it was very moving. Stories from the 1960s and '70s are particularly touching to me because I can't imagine the kind of turmoil Americans were going through then - civil rights movement, anti-war movement, Vietnam and napalm. That era presented many defining moments for America.

We have another play to attend at the Kirk Douglas next week. I love not knowing anything about the play before I see it. The experience of witnessing a story unfold with no knowledge of where it's going is such an exhilarating feeling.

Hello, Goodbye, Plane!

Yesterday afternoon, we fed Atticus in our backyard. He wandered around, pulling small oranges from the trees & trying to attach them back onto the branches. He meddled with some potted plants and fell over on some upturned creepy crawlies. He stuck his hand in dirt and waved to passing planes. & he tried to step on our neighbor's tomato plants.

Yay, summer!

He held Robby's iPhone up to his ear (like a boombox) and danced while it played Yo Gabba Gabba songs. We are starting to love Yo Gabba Gabba. Oh no!

Cripple of Inishmaan

Yesterday, Saturday, Robby, Atticus, and I attended the Espe Family Day Care parents' luncheon. Espe made a wonderful lunch for us & we sat at tables outside & familiarized ourselves with the babies' parents. Then Robby and I left Atticus with Lilia & went to see The Cripple of Inishmaan at the Kirk Douglas Theatre.

It was a fantastically hilarious play about a small community of people on the island of Inishmaan, off the coast of Ireland, in the 1930s. A Hollywood director has come to Ireland to make a film about the Aran Islands. The people of Inishmaan are all eager to try for roles in this film (or, as they call it, "filim"), including Cripple Billy, the town cripple. He is an avid reader & starer of cows. The characters on the island are all characters: Eileen, Kate, Slippy Helen, Bartley, Babby Bobby, and Johnnie Pateen Mike. They are all horribly mean to each other, but the play is laugh-out-loud funny. We had a good time.

This Irish cast has been touring for 8 months. They're heading to San Francisco next.

During intermission, I was standing in the lobby when a pair of sunglasses dropped out of the back pocket of an older, well-dressed woman. I picked up her glasses & handed them to her just as she turned around. She looked mildly distressed. "Oh," she said. She wiped the lens & said, "They're brand new...Fendi...$350," she said under her breath with eyebrows raised.

Oi.

We always feel like foreigners when we attend theatre. The theatre-going population is always old and White, & Robby & I stick out like sore thumbs. We think that theatre is the best kept secret anywhere, & we can't figure out why younger people don't take advantage of it. We chalk up the absence of younger people to the cost of the tickets. It's really worth it though.

Our little performer

Last night was the first time Atticus was a conscious, proud, little performer. Po po was here was Uncle Cary & Joy, & Atticus performed his regular tricks and new ones at the dinner table:

1. He points to himself when someone asks, "Who's Atticus?" (He learned this one at day care.)
2. He kisses me on the lips, sometimes just leaning forward with his mouth open. (Began yesterday)
3. He started taking food from my mouth, like a bird. (Began yesterday)
4. He smiled at them & then shyly leaned against my arm.
5. He snapped his fingers. (He's been doing that for months)

We took him to the beach yesterday afternoon, & he was so frightened that he refused to put his feet on the sand. We even set down a towel to let him sit. When his foot touched the sand, he pulled it away quickly. A few times, he tried to stand, but he would hesitate in squatting position, then sit down again. Robby held him over the sand, & he'd hold his knees up so his feet wouldn't touch the sand. We're in trouble if he doesn't like sand because we're doing a beach trip this summer!

Back to our regular schedule tomorrow. Back to school for me. Two meetings at USC - one on Monday & one on Tuesday. This means I see less of Atticus. :(
We're all going to be a little sad before we become inured to the busy-ness.

Recent photo of Atticus

It has been awhile since I've posted a photo of the Boy. I fed him 20 min ago at 6:30am. He is now humming away in a his crib, occasionally saying "da da." I love picking him up, setting him on the ground, and watching him teeter over to our room, where he gingerly pushes the door open and peers over the bed for Robby.

He sometimes likes to make a pouty face & breathe loudly through his nose. This is his angry face. He looks like a villain from an old cheesy Chinese martial arts show. Bruce Lee does it sometimes too. It's a haughty, defiant expression. I think he learned it from me.

Mean Drivers

Obama is coming to Culver City tomorrow! He is going to be at Sony Studios then dinner at Brentwood. So cool. But the streets will be closed, which means that mean grumpy drivers will be on the loose.

Speaking of grumpy drivers, a few lanes have been closed in downtown Culver City, and the drivers have been awfully mean to each other. When we had dinner at Native Foods (Robby's favorite unhealthy vegan restaurant) tonight to celebrate Robby's dissertation submission, a woman in a BMW hit a woman in a red sedan from behind. They were belligerent toward each other before the collision, with one woman flicking the other one off. Then the collision, then two screaming women who nearly go into a fistfight in the middle of the street with a line of cars patiently waiting in one open lane. The BMW driver just bought her car, so she had no license plate. But the driver of the red sedan was so angry that she didn't ask for insurance information. The BMW driver sped away after the altercation. She was clearly in the wrong, but she won.

BMW drivers in California are notoriously obnoxious. They drive arrogantly fast, tailgate, and weave.

He Say She Say by Lupe Fiasco

Another good one. I put this on as a homework assignment to my students, but it's not homework. I just want them to appreciate the lyrics. & at the end of the song, I added a link & wrote, "I miss you all!" I do miss them.

She said to him
"I want you to be a father
He's your little boy and you don't even bother
Like "brother" without the R
And he's starting to harbor
Cool and food for thought
But for you he's a starver
Starting to use red markers on his work
His teacher say they know he's much smarter
But he's hurt
Used to hand his homework in first
Like he was the classroom starter
Burst to tears
Let them know she see us
Now he's fighting in class
Got a note last week that say he might not pass
Ask me if his daddy was sick of us
Cause you ain't never pick him up
You see what his problem is?
He don't know where his poppa is
No positive male role model
To play football and build railroad models
It's making a hole you've been digging it
Cause you ain't been kicking it
Since he was old enough to hold bottles
Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that
He don't deserve to get used to that
Now I ain't asking you for money or to come back to me
Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard
Just breaks my heart
When I try to provide and he say 'Mommy that ain't your job'
To be a man, I try to make him understand
That I'm his number one fan
But its like he born from the stands
You know the world is out to get him, so why don't you give him a chance?"

So he said to him
"I want you to be a father
I'm your little boy and you don't even bother
Like "brother" without the R
And I'm starting to harbor
Cool and food for thought
But for you I'm a starver
Starting to use red markers on my work
My teacher say they know I'm much smarter
But I'm hurt
I used to hand my homework in first
Like I was the classroom starter
Burst to tears
Let them know he see us
Now I'm fighting in class
Got a note last week that say I might not pass
Kids ask me if my daddy is sick of us
Cause you ain't never pick me up
You see what my problem is?
That I don't know where my poppa is
No positive male role model
To play football and build railroad models
It's making a hole you've been digging it
Cause you ain't been kicking it
Since I was old enough to hold bottles
Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that
I don't deserve to get used to that
Now I ain't asking you for money or to come back to me
Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard
Just breaks my heart
When my momma try to provide and I tell her 'That ain't your job'
To be a man, she try to make me understand
That she my number one fan
But its like you born from the stands
You know the world is out to get me, why don't you give me a chance?"

He Say She Say by Lupe Fiasco

Heritage pics

As busy and swamped I've been this past year and as much as I LOVE LOVE LOVE and APPRECIATE Spring Break, I miss my students. I send them the lyrics to "Brand New Colony" last night via the homework message on our school website.

Here are some pictures of the school. I sent them to our pen pals at Palo Alto High School recently:
The building is less than a year old.





Here's the view from the corner of the school at
Broadway Ave. & 101st.
Sometimes I have supervision here in the morning:









This is a view of the building
from the corner of Broadway & 101st.
Pretty, isn't it?

There is only an upstairs and downstairs hallway in our building & 500 students in total. I teach 160 sophomores.









Period 4









Some Period 4 boys. Adorable.









Some adorable Period 3 kids. My student teacher lent the kid on the right Tortilla Curtain & Catcher in the Rye, & he loved them! Then he transferred. :(









We're about six exits south of USC, so I hope on the 110 to get to class.

Robby is finishing his dissertation today! After reading some edits from a psychology colleague about his psycho-physiology data & after a talk with Omi, he will read the dissertation once through and send it to his committee members. He is very intent on completing it today.

I'm revising Chapter 2, which is getting longer and longer. But I am thinking about cutting one section of it. I have to complete most of Chapter 1 today. I think that our group is behind the other dissertation groups, but I think we doing a more thorough thinking job. I'm glad my committee chair isn't a dissertation-cranking machine. I want to write about something I care about.

I'll talk about my diss later.

Atticus is up & humming in his crib. He chills in his crib after a 6 o'clock bottle. Sometimes he goes back to sleep. With my being at the computer in the morning, he is usually unlikely to go back to sleep. He LOVES being outside, loves to explore the sidewalk. He'll pick up twigs and dried berries, touch all the leaves and tree trunks.

I should start my morning work now.

Ciao!

I Heart Postal Service!

Beautiful lyrics!

An excerpt from "Brand New Colony" by Postal Service

i'll be the grape's fermented bottle served
with the table set in my finest suit
like a perfect gentleman
i'll be the fire escape
that's bolted to the ancient brick
where you will sit and contemplate your day

i'll be the waterwings
that save you if you start drowning
in an open tab
when you're judgment's on the brink
i'll be the phonograph
that plays your favorite album back
as you're lying there
drifting off to sleep
i'll be the platform shoes
and do what heredity's done to you
you won't have to strain
to look into my eyes
i'll be your winter coat
that buttons up straight to the throat
wear the collar up so you won't catch a cold...

All White babies look the same?

Our day care nanny Espe told us that Atticus gives hugs the only two White babies at his day care. She thinks that he can't tell them apart.

I saw a black mini Cooper today with the license plate "VMP GRL." I looked closely at the license plate frame. It read, "I drive like a Cullen," in reference to the vampire family in Twilight. Ugh.

Spring Break...Yay!

Robby and I took the baby to day care and worked for 6.5 hours at our computers. I revised 13 pages of Chapter 2...Yay! I am making some major revisions, so it has taken very long. I put the chapter down for a month because I was afraid to revise it, but looking over it and creating at backward outline (Robby's advice) has helped me hone in on my topic. 15 pages left to revise!

Baby Blues

Atticus woke up at 2:30pm this morning crying uncontrollably. I went into his room & tried to shove the pacifier in his mouth, but he wouldn't take it. Tried to change his diaper, but he wouldn't sit still. He wouldn't even allow me to hold him. Robby got up, conjectured that the baby wanted milk, and we forcefully put him down & went back to sleep.

The baby has been throwing little tantrums lately. We can't figure out if it's physiological or brattiness. It could be a little bit of both. He wants sweet food when we feed him, so we mix little bits of grapes with his chicken or small dollops of yogurt with his egg.

So it's 4am, & I haven't gone back to bed yet. Today is the last day before Spring Break at Heritage, & I have a long list of things to do over vacation: revise Chapter 2 of my dissertation, complete Chapter 1, grade essays, get come Mommy-baby quality time, plan for the rest of the year...

Robby will scold me for being up, I know it. He just finished Chapter 7 of his dissertation. He is hoping to finish by next week. I can't wait to celebrate! After so many weeks of sitting raptly at the computer, he has finally crunched out this tedious dissertation. Mine may be more onerous because I'm gathering qualitative data, which means observations, which means transcribing dialogue, which means analyzing hours of observation notes... oi...

All of Westside LA was congested with impatient cars yesterday afternoon. Drivers looking for short cuts zoomed down our normally placid street. The weather was finally pleasant and sunny (it can never get too bad in LA, can it?), so Robby thinks that people were anxious to enjoy the sun.

It's been ages!

It has been ages since I've posted an entry in this blog.
Since my last entry, lots have happened.

Robby's mom & stepdad spent 2 glorious weeks with us in January. His grandmother also came for 4 days. Our cozy family crowded the apartment, but every inch of it was filled with warmth and sound. We loved the company and the busy evenings.

Atticus turned one and had a birthday party. Robby organized a knife-choosing ceremony. Out of 10 knives, Atticus chose the one with chopsticks, which signifies that he will be a big eater. We got a delicious tart from Porto's and invited lots of friends and family members. Two out of the three godfathers drove down from the Bay Area, & Atticus received four letters that will be opened ten and twenty years from now.

He can now walk pretty well. He loves to open cabinets and touch stuff. He can say "agua" pretty clearly. He can feed himself, imitate others, & blow kisses. He is getting over an ear infection right now, poor thing. We've bonded this weekend with Robby gone to his aunt's wedding.

Robby is still writing his dissertation & should be done by this summer. He'll be walking in May, so we will both cut our hair by then. My hair is so long that sometimes I sit on it. I can't wait to have a short do again.

Long Time No Write

Atticus can now...

1. kind of blow kisses
2. say "da da", though we haven't determined if he calling for Robby or not. I think he is.
3. stand for about 5 seconds without holding anything
4. say "agua."
5. tilt his head and feign sleep when we say, "baby sleeping."
6. point at things.
7. climb our bean bag.
8. do the hand motions for the song "The Wheels on the Bus."

He's turning one on Tuesday, February 22nd! We are so excited that he is having his first birthday. He is eating really chunky food, & he is a big fan of fruit.

On the dissertation side of life, I just completed an outline for Chapter 2, the lit review. I should have Chapter 2 written already, but teaching has gotten in the way of it all.

On the work side of things, I have never been closer to quitting. I keep going back and forth. Robby is super-supportive & only wants me to be happy & less stressed. Frankly, I am so stressed that I wake up at 3am, like this morning, & different scenarios of my quitting race through my head. The stress is really getting to me. But I go to school, & I am reminded by how much I love my students. & I forget how tired I am when I get home, or how little I see Atticus every day, or how little work I am completing for my dissertation. I had a chance to face my principal yesterday and give him my notice, but I balked. He pressured me to stay with reminders that I would be breaking my contract, that I would not be able to find another job after having left this one mid-year, and that I would be disappointing the kids. I agreed to stay, but now I'm not sure I made the right decision.

Yesterday, a kid in fourth period asked me, "Ms. Loh, do you love me?" & I replied, "Yes, I love you, Lalo." I love all my students, but is it worth all this mental anguish of balancing grad school, teaching, and family?

Right now, family is the lowest of my priorities right now, and I hate myself for that. I guess that sums it up: I am self-hating for having to juggle all these priorities.