Jeanne & Robby are maweeed

Happy New Year!

2012-01-03T22:56:00.000-08:00

Robby has left for East Lansing, Michigan, while Atticus and I remain in California. A few more weeks with my family, & it's goodbye! I can't describe how much it will ache to be apart from them, but making a new family means letting go of the old one.

Here's to a new year of drastic change and begrudging acclimation...

Choo-choo train!

2011-12-31T22:39:00.000-08:00

Day Three:

We missed our 8 o'clock train from Portland to Seattle, and the seats on the 12 o'clock train were booked, but we were content taking the 3 o'clock since it meant more time in Portland. We wandered back up to the Pearl District to search for Tanner Springs Park. Then we headed back to the hotel, put down Atticus for a nap, packed, and took the light rail to Union Station in Chinatown where we'd catch the train.

Atticus was super-excited to take the train. I couldn't count the number of times he said, "choo choo train!" But he was a handful. He wouldn't sit still, so Robby walked up & down the aisles of the train cars to keep him occupied. It was a beautiful three-hour ride up to Seattle - deer, lakes, steel bridges, even a sunset. We were busy keeping an eye on Atticus most of the time, but it would have been nice to sit back & watch the passing scenery.

Robby's relatives took us in when we arrived. They took us to the Space Needle to see the New Year's fireworks, which were shot out of the sides and top of the Space Needle. It's so comforting being with family after a few days of trekking through a new city and returning to a sterile room.

Whoa, facial hair galore!

2011-12-30T20:42:00.000-08:00

Day Two:

Today, we decided to be more Atticus-centric and vowed to return from our first outing by 11:30am, so that he could get an afternoon nap.

We took the light rail & bus to the Hawthorne District, the so-called hippest neighborhood in Portland right now (comparable to Williamsburg, Brooklyn). We had breakfast at Jam on Hawthorne, another well reviewed breakfast joint on Yelp (275 reviews; 4 stars), which also had a large children's play area. We chatted with some table neighbors - a couple with baby girl. They were super-nice and told us all about their experience living in Portland. Atticus kept himself busy in the play area until breakfast came. The waitress served him water in the coolest sippy cup, and there was a stand with white paper & scissors, where patrons were encouraged to cut snowflakes (the entire restaurant had patron-made snowflakes hanging from the ceiling).

We hopped back on the bus & continued down Hawthorne Blvd. until we got to the Baghdad Theater. The street was line with vintage clothing stores, gift shops, & boutiques. We moseyed around until Atticus got annoyed having to sit in the stroller for so long...and headed back to our hotel. We got lunch from some food trucks near by (I got Pad See Ew, while Robby got Stir-fried Ginger Tofu with Rice) & ate in the hotel room before Atticus napped.

In the afternoon, we headed south to Portland State University. Robby wanted to peek around the campus to get a feel for it. It's an urban campus (as urban as Portland can get...not really, that is). But it did feel a little like NYU, where the university's buildings are intertwined with the city itself. There was no campus wall or entrance...no pedestrian quads.

We met Robby's friend for dinner at the hotels restaurant Red Star. This is the worst restaurant I've been to since we've arrived to Portland. It was over-priced & the food was mediocre. I ordered a side dish of short ribs, garnished with cucumber & yogurt & roasted hazelnuts. The hazelnuts were so hard that they were inedible. The ribs were too fatty & chewy that I spit out nearly every piece that I had eaten. Atticus's homemade chicken noodle soup was too salty & its tarragon flavoring was too strong. I was even more disappointed when I got the check. I don't even want to think about - it makes my heart hurt to think we wasted money on such a crappy meal. I wanted to each their for convenience - we could put Atticus to bed quickly if we ate near by - but I should have looked at its reviews first (mediocre: 166 reviews, 3.5 stars).

_________________________

The most definitive, appealing aspect of Portland that both Robby & I noticed:

PEOPLE IN PORTLAND ARE REALLY, REALLY FRIENDLY.

We have not met one mean person in Portland. We've had friendly banter with bus drivers, waitresses, fellow restaurant patrons, parents, old people...

There is definitely a fashion sense unique to Portland. Men with all sorts of facial hair, pea coats, tight jeans & either fashionable sneakers or large boots. Women layered in woolen skirts, knee-high boots, scarves, and cross-shoulder bags.

We also noticed that the city seems empty. Robby's friend informed us that most people go home for the holidays, so people don't come visit this time of year. Also, he enlightened us about this bit about Portland: people don't come for jobs because they're aren't any; they come because they want to live here...they like the lifestyle. So, people here tend to be like-minded. I can imagine one giving up a lucrative career in a big city in order to live a peaceful life in Portland. It's got a sense of community that I've never experienced anywhere. Robby is completely enamored with this small city, so maybe in the future we'll find our way back to the West Coast via the Northwest.

Portland, OR

2011-12-29T13:27:00.000-08:00

It's been four months since I've written a blog posting. We have been busy with everyday life and packing for Michigan. We are finally out of our apartment in the lovely Culver City (sniff sniff), and our plentiful but humble belonging are en route on a move truck to East Lansing, Michigan.

Before we make the big move eastward, we are visiting the coolest town in the northwest: Portland, OR. We've heard so much about it from others & from the NY Times, that we decided to take one final hurrah trip before settling in the Midwest far from West Coast culture and family. We'll be here 3 days and in Seattle 2 days.

We're staying at the Hotel Monaco in the City Center. It looks upscale, but we got a suite for $150/night. It's got both modern and baroque-style furnishings, kind of Z-Gallerie-ish. It's a dog friendly hotel, so dogs stay with their owners in the rooms. & there's free wine tasting from 5-6pm every night, including live piano music and a painter's corner (with easel, acrylic paints, and canvases).

Day One:

We headed out of the hotel at 9am northward toward Mother's Bistro & Bar, a well-reviewed (700 reviews on Yelp - totally unheard of...700+ reviews?! - 4 stars!). The decor was amazing - like a tea room...chandeliers, vintage mirrors all over the walls - the whole place had a warm glow to it. Plus, there was a children's play area. This aspect of the restaurant was key because if Atticus hasn't eaten by 9am, he is a huge, grumpy monster, so the play area took his mind off his belly. We were amazed (second time I've used this word in this paragraph) by the idea of having a kids' play area in a restaurant. Where else would a business be so considerate? It would be totally unheard of in LA, where child-friendly & child-unfriendly places are clearly demarcated.

After breakfast we walked through Chinatown, a desolate, empty neighborhood with many boarded up windows. Our desination: Lan Su Gardens - a Suzhou-style garden with stone mosaic walkways, water fountains, coi, rocks & water, & a Tai Chi class going on on a terrace. It was a peaceful sanctuary in the middle of an already peaceful city. The only question that circled through my mind was WHERE ARE ALL THE CHINESE PEOPLE? The streets of Chinatown were vacant of businesses and residents, none of the tai chi practitioners were Asian, & the instructor wasn't Asian either. So What's the deal with Chinatown? & why does it still exist if there aren't any Chinese people to occupy it?

After meandering through Lan Su Garden, we wanted an after-breakfast dessert, so we searched for Voodoo Donuts, a popular local donut joint that has over 1,700 reviews on Yelp & gets 4 stars! It got some publicity from the Food Network show called Man Vs. Food. We waited in line for about 15 minutes then chatted with the man behind us from Costa Mesa. The pink interior was partnered with an upbeat Kanye song, so we were especially excited when we got inside. Voodoo Donuts has an array of unusual and creatively named donuts: bacon maple bar, voodoo doll (in the shape of one & filled with raspberry jelly), Optimus Prime (shaped and frosted like the Transformer), donuts topped with cereal, like Captain My Captain (Captain Crunch) & The Loop (Fruit Loops), Tangtastic (topped with vanilla frosting & Tang, & Old Dirty Bastard (Oreos & peanut butter). Robby ordered the famous Cock and Balls (basically a Boston Creme in the shape of a you-know-what) and I ordered a chocolate frosted and a Mexican Hot Chocolate cake donut, which was much spicier than I expected. We were pleased.

Chinatown was pretty depressing, so we headed to Powell's Books in the Pearl District, one of the largest, most well-organized independent bookstore that I've ever been to. It's enormous. One entire floor is dedicated to children's and young adult literature. I felt happy supporting a local business...after having made so many Amazon purchases for Christmas this month.

Robby suggested that we check out snow boots for Atticus, so we went to REI, which gave us a chance to walk through the Pearl District. Robby said that the reviewers on Yelp either loved or hated the Pearl District. Some people complained that it was too bourgie and expensive. The streets were lined with yoga studios and well-manicured boutiques.

We spent too much time at REI. We found great snowboots for Atticus, but we started looking through the sales racks for ourselves. Atticus was bored and hungry, and he hadn't gotten a proper nap (only an hourlong nap in the stroller at Powell's). We were being selfish parents at that point, dragging him to dressing rooms & making him wait while we fished for the right sizes. By the time we left REI he was livid. When we got to Lovejoy Bakers to get him some food, he exploded into a million pieces, yelled at the top of his lungs, rolled all over the floor.

We hurried back to the hotel, realized that we needed to eat, so we stopped by a parking lot lined with food trucks. Unlike Los Angeles food trucks, these were anchored to these parking spots and were housed in little trailers. They weren't actual trucks. We quickly bought food & returned to the hotel room...with Atticus screaming all the way there. Nothing appeased him, not even the pacifier. I couldn't blame him for being angry with us.

Robby ordered a pesto chicken sandwich, which he raved about, I ate an Indonesian tofu salad, & Atticus had a pork bun. All the food was delicious, & I was especially impressed by the large portions. After the early 4pm dinner, Robby urged me to go to the free yoga class in the hotel. It was pretty good, and there were only 2 students. I wore the yoga pajamas that Robby gave me for Christmas. It's got stick figures doing yoga poses on them. Super-adorable.

We turned in early, having put Atticus down to sleep at 7pm, watched a few episodes of New Girl, and called it a night. An eventful - later parent-centric - day in a wonderful city.

Day Two: East Lansing visit

2011-08-23T06:14:00.000-07:00

I took Robby to Kellogg Conference Center for his new faculty orientation today then drove around East Lansing a bit. Someone had recommended living in the Bailey area, which is the neighborhood directly north of campus (north of Grand River Road). It's a cute little neighborhood with small, old houses. I saw a few people taking walks & walking their dog. It reminded me of Havertown, Pennsylvania. I drove up to Burcham Ave., where Deddy once lived for a month, until I hit East Lansing High School. It has an enormous campus with a student population that's half of most high schools in Los Angeles. It has large playing fields and a state-of-the-art football field (of course). I also passed a large middle school with a football field (oh brother). Burcham eastbound became windy and residential - condo complexes & tract housing. Then I came down Okemos Road and returned to my uncle's house.

The streets here are surprisingly empty. As I drove around at 8am, I was surprised by how few cars and people I saw on the big and residential streets. I hardly saw anyone leaving his house for work. I have a feeling that when next Wednesday arrives and students return to Michigan State University, the streets of East Lansing will be bustling and noisy. Still, I'm surprised to see so few residents of East Lansing out and about.

Touching Base: LA > SF > LA > HI > SF > LA > MI

2011-08-22T11:31:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I've written in this. Life got kind of crazy at the end of June. My last day of teaching was on June 24th, and on that day we bolted to Napa Valley, California, for a wedding at Cornerstone Winery. We spent a few wonderful days living in North Beach (Little Italy) in San Francisco, where Atticus got to watch old Chinese people do calisthenics at Washington Square Park, we weaved through the congested Stockton Avenue with the stroller to get some good dimsum, & we saw boys plankingat Union Square in downtown SF.

We came back down to LA and spent a few weeks recuperating. I

successfully defended my dissertation proposal on July 27th, and when Robby spent a week in Germany, I went to live with my parents for a week.

Everything has been all fun & travel since the dissert

ation proposal defense. I had a girls' lunch date with Rebecca and friends in Villa Blanca, a restaurant in Beverly Hills owned by a participant in "Real Housewives of Orange County." The food was all right, every dish was chipped, the flowers in the centerpiece fading, and the menus falling apart.

Then I went to

a Japanese salon in West LA and cut 24 inches of hair. The stylist convinced me that I shouldn't get a boy cut, so I got a bob. The next day Robby went to Beverly Hills for a cut & shave, & he cut his 24 inches of hair too.

Then we drove up to San Francisco for a 1 week trip to Kauai with my sisters and t

heir families. I forgot about this blog (forgot that it was part travelogue), so I'll have to make my comments about Hawaii brief. I haven't been to Hawaii since 1987, & I've never been to Kauai before, so it was a

ll a new experience for me.

We stayed in Po'ipu, the south part of Kauai, at the Wyndham Resort (Koloa Landing). They had good airfare & hotel dea

ls, and we rented 3 condos for 3 families. There were 9 adults and 6 kids in total. Our condos faced a large children's pool that was no more than 4 feed deep. Atticus played in the 1

-foot area. Brenneker's Beach was the best place to go snorkling. Sheraton Beach was a great place to learn how to

surf. Spouting Horn was a quick, fun trip. Lydgate Park had an awesome baby beach. Tip Top Cafe for breakfast was good. We couldn't go far because the babies had to take their naps

every afternoon. This meant no long drives to the north side of Kauai nor long car trips to Waimea Canyon nor long hikes.

On the day

of our departure, United had a problem with our plane that it ignored in Los Angeles. As we sat on the plane and waited to depart, the flight crew had to decide whether to ship the missing mechanical part from Honolulu or fly us all to Honolulu & leave from there. After a few hours of waiting at the gate, United canceled our flight & sent us to a Marriott for the night. It was a huge headache, especially with small children, no milk, butt wipes, or diapers. I am still pretty irate about United's failure to fix the problem in Los Angeles, where airplane parts are plentiful.

We took a 9am flight the following morning. Atticus was wonderful in the plane, so time went by quickly. As soon as we landed in San Francisco, we hopped in our car and drove down to Los Angeles. We stopped at Harris Ranch for dinner and arrived to our home at 10:30pm. It was quite a doozy of a day.

Two days later, we drop off Atticus at my parents' and hop on a plane to Michigan.

I learned that Spirit Airlines really sucks. DON'T fly Spirit Airlines. Sure, the flights are cheap, but it charges passengers to choose seats ($10), for carry-on baggage ($35 online, $40 at the gate), and to print boarding passes at the airline counter. We didn't see anything of this coming, so we were totally taken aback by all the charges.

Now we're in Michigan to drive around and look for potential neighborhoods in which to live. Robby had a new faculty orientation tomorrow, and I'll hang out with my uncle all day.

Latest photos (kind of)

2011-06-11T20:54:00.000-07:00

Atticus is a little sponge when it comes to verbal language. He is constantly imitating us. This evening, I said, "See?" to Robby to reinforce how right I was about something, & Atticus stood behind me and said, "See?"

Besides, his usual "baba," "mama," & "agua", he also says...

"up": Robby taught him this one

"po po": maternal grandmother

"bubble"

"scheisse": German for "shit"

"Chapu": our babysitter Liliana's son's nickname, which means grasshopper in Spanish

"dirty": for his diaper

Below is a picture of us at Robby's graduation. He hadn't officially finished his dissertation yet, so it was a pretty anti-climatic day for him. But he'll be uploading in the next day or two. Then the diploma will arrive in a few weeks. Then we'll be cutting our immensely long hair. My hair is so long that it drapes down to my butt and sometimes I tuck it into my pants by accident. I'll be very relieved to cut it short short.

He Grows Exponentially

2011-06-05T11:17:00.000-07:00

Atticus has spent almost 10 days at my parents' house because Robby was gone last weekend for the ICA Conference & this weekend for a bachelor party. My, my, he has grown immensely from hanging out with his three older cousins (8, 5, & 3 years old).

Here are list of new things he can do now:

he can now peer over the breakfast table on tippy toes
he can say "po po" (title for mother's mother)
he can nod & shake head on command (in Chinese)
he comes down the stairs more quickly (backward on belly)
he likes to stick pointy things into electrical outlets and pull out plugs (all the clocks & lamps are unplugged now)
he takes hard things & bangs them into other hard things
he likes to feed himself using a spoon
he blinks when i blink at him
he really loves maya because she entertains him. mei mei can talk to him forever. she'd take his feet & pretend to smell them, then say, "ewww! stinky!" audra likes to watch him get his diaper changed because she wants to see if she has pooped. she likes to bathe next to him too.
he was clingy toward po po when i was gone over the weekdays.
all his teeth have come out, but he doesn't like to brush.
he has learned how to open a pen cap (already knows how to work the clicky pen)
he likes to draw with pencil.
he stands on empty boxes & climbs on stools.
he imitates animal noises that i read from a book ("whoo whoo, cheep cheep, mooooo, meow")
he says "ba ba" all the time. he misses robby. i think he is happiest when we're all together.
he has suddenly started preferring being held before he sleeps. oh oh. bad habit!

it's hard to capture his idiosyncrasies with a cameras. his fat little fingers just aren't as cute in a photograph.

Enjoying LA theater

2011-05-22T07:09:00.000-07:00

Robby & I have been fortunate enough to find a wonderful babysitter who will watch Atticus as we explore LA theatre. Three weeks ago, we saw The Cripple of Inishmaan at our neighborhood Kirk Douglas Theatre. It was absolutely excellent, though the numerous bittersweet twists and turns in the plot left is feeling a little dizzy and unfulfilled.

Last weekend, we saw a modern adaptation of Moliere's Tartuffe, a hilariously bawdy play about a clever impostor who worms his way into a nobleman's family by acting devoutly religiously, gains the favor of the nobleman, & tricks the gullible sap into giving him the entire estate. We saw this funny play at our neighborhood theatre The Actor's Gang, which is run by actor & director Tim Robbins. It almost went bankrupt last year, but was miraculously saved (by generous donations?). The theatre sits at the corner of Washington Blvd. and Culver Blvd. in a small, beautifully renovated train station.

Yesterday, we returned to the Kirk Douglas Theatre to see Rodger Smith's Juan and John, a one-man, autobiographical story about a young boy's baseball obsession, his dealing with the 1965 violent altercation between San Francisco Giants' star pitcher Juan Marichal and Los Angeles Dodgers star catcher John Roseboro, and his childhood growing up in South Los Angeles during the Watts Riots and Vietnam War. He interviewed both baseball players and write this play using their words and his experiences. It was far more didactic that Robby would have liked. I found it too didactic in some places too, but it was very moving. Stories from the 1960s and '70s are particularly touching to me because I can't imagine the kind of turmoil Americans were going through then - civil rights movement, anti-war movement, Vietnam and napalm. That era presented many defining moments for America.

We have another play to attend at the Kirk Douglas next week. I love not knowing anything about the play before I see it. The experience of witnessing a story unfold with no knowledge of where it's going is such an exhilarating feeling.

Hello, Goodbye, Plane!

2011-05-03T19:01:00.001-07:00

Yesterday afternoon, we fed Atticus in our backyard. He wandered around, pulling small oranges from the trees & trying to attach them back onto the branches. He meddled with some potted plants and fell over on some upturned creepy crawlies. He stuck his hand in dirt and waved to passing planes. & he tried to step on our neighbor's tomato plants.

Yay, summer!

He held Robby's iPhone up to his ear (like a boombox) and danced while it played Yo Gabba Gabba songs. We are starting to love Yo Gabba Gabba. Oh no!

Cripple of Inishmaan

2011-05-01T20:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Saturday, Robby, Atticus, and I attended the Espe Family Day Care parents' luncheon. Espe made a wonderful lunch for us & we sat at tables outside & familiarized ourselves with the babies' parents. Then Robby and I left Atticus with Lilia & went to see The Cripple of Inishmaan at the Kirk Douglas Theatre.

It was a fantastically hilarious play about a small community of people on the island of Inishmaan, off the coast of Ireland, in the 1930s. A Hollywood director has come to Ireland to make a film about the Aran Islands. The people of Inishmaan are all eager to try for roles in this film (or, as they call it, "filim"), including Cripple Billy, the town cripple. He is an avid reader & starer of cows. The characters on the island are all characters: Eileen, Kate, Slippy Helen, Bartley, Babby Bobby, and Johnnie Pateen Mike. They are all horribly mean to each other, but the play is laugh-out-loud funny. We had a good time.

This Irish cast has been touring for 8 months. They're heading to San Francisco next.

During intermission, I was standing in the lobby when a pair of sunglasses dropped out of the back pocket of an older, well-dressed woman. I picked up her glasses & handed them to her just as she turned around. She looked mildly distressed. "Oh," she said. She wiped the lens & said, "They're brand new...Fendi...$350," she said under her breath with eyebrows raised.

Oi.

We always feel like foreigners when we attend theatre. The theatre-going population is always old and White, & Robby & I stick out like sore thumbs. We think that theatre is the best kept secret anywhere, & we can't figure out why younger people don't take advantage of it. We chalk up the absence of younger people to the cost of the tickets. It's really worth it though.

Our little performer

2011-04-24T06:11:00.000-07:00

Last night was the first time Atticus was a conscious, proud, little performer. Po po was here was Uncle Cary & Joy, & Atticus performed his regular tricks and new ones at the dinner table:

1. He points to himself when someone asks, "Who's Atticus?" (He learned this one at day care.)
2. He kisses me on the lips, sometimes just leaning forward with his mouth open. (Began yesterday)
3. He started taking food from my mouth, like a bird. (Began yesterday)
4. He smiled at them & then shyly leaned against my arm.
5. He snapped his fingers. (He's been doing that for months)

We took him to the beach yesterday afternoon, & he was so frightened that he refused to put his feet on the sand. We even set down a towel to let him sit. When his foot touched the sand, he pulled it away quickly. A few times, he tried to stand, but he would hesitate in squatting position, then sit down again. Robby held him over the sand, & he'd hold his knees up so his feet wouldn't touch the sand. We're in trouble if he doesn't like sand because we're doing a beach trip this summer!

Back to our regular schedule tomorrow. Back to school for me. Two meetings at USC - one on Monday & one on Tuesday. This means I see less of Atticus. :(
We're all going to be a little sad before we become inured to the busy-ness.

Recent photo of Atticus

2011-04-22T06:58:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile since I've posted a photo of the Boy. I fed him 20 min ago at 6:30am. He is now humming away in a his crib, occasionally saying "da da." I love picking him up, setting him on the ground, and watching him teeter over to our room, where he gingerly pushes the door open and peers over the bed for Robby.

He sometimes likes to make a pouty face & breathe loudly through his nose. This is his angry face. He looks like a villain from an old cheesy Chinese martial arts show. Bruce Lee does it sometimes too. It's a haughty, defiant expression. I think he learned it from me.

Mean Drivers

2011-04-20T20:10:00.000-07:00

Obama is coming to Culver City tomorrow! He is going to be at Sony Studios then dinner at Brentwood. So cool. But the streets will be closed, which means that mean grumpy drivers will be on the loose.

Speaking of grumpy drivers, a few lanes have been closed in downtown Culver City, and the drivers have been awfully mean to each other. When we had dinner at Native Foods (Robby's favorite unhealthy vegan restaurant) tonight to celebrate Robby's dissertation submission, a woman in a BMW hit a woman in a red sedan from behind. They were belligerent toward each other before the collision, with one woman flicking the other one off. Then the collision, then two screaming women who nearly go into a fistfight in the middle of the street with a line of cars patiently waiting in one open lane. The BMW driver just bought her car, so she had no license plate. But the driver of the red sedan was so angry that she didn't ask for insurance information. The BMW driver sped away after the altercation. She was clearly in the wrong, but she won.

BMW drivers in California are notoriously obnoxious. They drive arrogantly fast, tailgate, and weave.

He Say She Say by Lupe Fiasco

2011-04-20T16:39:00.000-07:00

Another good one. I put this on as a homework assignment to my students, but it's not homework. I just want them to appreciate the lyrics. & at the end of the song, I added a link & wrote, "I miss you all!" I do miss them.

She said to him
"I want you to be a father
He's your little boy and you don't even bother
Like "brother" without the R
And he's starting to harbor
Cool and food for thought
But for you he's a starver
Starting to use red markers on his work
His teacher say they know he's much smarter
But he's hurt
Used to hand his homework in first
Like he was the classroom starter
Burst to tears
Let them know she see us
Now he's fighting in class
Got a note last week that say he might not pass
Ask me if his daddy was sick of us
Cause you ain't never pick him up
You see what his problem is?
He don't know where his poppa is
No positive male role model
To play football and build railroad models
It's making a hole you've been digging it
Cause you ain't been kicking it
Since he was old enough to hold bottles
Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that
He don't deserve to get used to that
Now I ain't asking you for money or to come back to me
Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard
Just breaks my heart
When I try to provide and he say 'Mommy that ain't your job'
To be a man, I try to make him understand
That I'm his number one fan
But its like he born from the stands
You know the world is out to get him, so why don't you give him a chance?"

So he said to him
"I want you to be a father
I'm your little boy and you don't even bother
Like "brother" without the R
And I'm starting to harbor
Cool and food for thought
But for you I'm a starver
Starting to use red markers on my work
My teacher say they know I'm much smarter
But I'm hurt
I used to hand my homework in first
Like I was the classroom starter
Burst to tears
Let them know he see us
Now I'm fighting in class
Got a note last week that say I might not pass
Kids ask me if my daddy is sick of us
Cause you ain't never pick me up
You see what my problem is?
That I don't know where my poppa is
No positive male role model
To play football and build railroad models
It's making a hole you've been digging it
Cause you ain't been kicking it
Since I was old enough to hold bottles
Wasn't supposed to get introduced to that
I don't deserve to get used to that
Now I ain't asking you for money or to come back to me
Some days it ain't sunny but it ain't so hard
Just breaks my heart
When my momma try to provide and I tell her 'That ain't your job'
To be a man, she try to make me understand
That she my number one fan
But its like you born from the stands
You know the world is out to get me, why don't you give me a chance?"

He Say She Say by Lupe Fiasco

Heritage pics

2011-04-20T06:39:00.000-07:00

As busy and swamped I've been this past year and as much as I LOVE LOVE LOVE and APPRECIATE Spring Break, I miss my students. I send them the lyrics to "Brand New Colony" last night via the homework message on our school website.

Here are some pictures of the school. I sent them to our pen pals at Palo Alto High School recently:
The building is less than a year old.

Here's the view from the corner of the school at
Broadway Ave. & 101st.
Sometimes I have supervision here in the morning:

This is a view of the building
from the corner of Broadway & 101st.
Pretty, isn't it?

There is only an upstairs and downstairs hallway in our building & 500 students in total. I teach 160 sophomores.

Period 4

Some Period 4 boys. Adorable.

Some adorable Period 3 kids. My student teacher lent the kid on the right Tortilla Curtain & Catcher in the Rye, & he loved them! Then he transferred. :(

We're about six exits south of USC, so I hope on the 110 to get to class.

Robby is finishing his dissertation today! After reading some edits from a psychology colleague about his psycho-physiology data & after a talk with Omi, he will read the dissertation once through and send it to his committee members. He is very intent on completing it today.

I'm revising Chapter 2, which is getting longer and longer. But I am thinking about cutting one section of it. I have to complete most of Chapter 1 today. I think that our group is behind the other dissertation groups, but I think we doing a more thorough thinking job. I'm glad my committee chair isn't a dissertation-cranking machine. I want to write about something I care about.

I'll talk about my diss later.

Atticus is up & humming in his crib. He chills in his crib after a 6 o'clock bottle. Sometimes he goes back to sleep. With my being at the computer in the morning, he is usually unlikely to go back to sleep. He LOVES being outside, loves to explore the sidewalk. He'll pick up twigs and dried berries, touch all the leaves and tree trunks.

I should start my morning work now.

Ciao!

I Heart Postal Service!

2011-04-19T20:45:00.001-07:00

Beautiful lyrics!

An excerpt from "Brand New Colony" by Postal Service

i'll be the grape's fermented bottle served
with the table set in my finest suit
like a perfect gentleman
i'll be the fire escape
that's bolted to the ancient brick
where you will sit and contemplate your day

i'll be the waterwings
that save you if you start drowning
in an open tab
when you're judgment's on the brink
i'll be the phonograph
that plays your favorite album back
as you're lying there
drifting off to sleep
i'll be the platform shoes
and do what heredity's done to you
you won't have to strain
to look into my eyes
i'll be your winter coat
that buttons up straight to the throat
wear the collar up so you won't catch a cold...

All White babies look the same?

2011-04-19T12:24:00.000-07:00

Our day care nanny Espe told us that Atticus gives hugs the only two White babies at his day care. She thinks that he can't tell them apart.

I saw a black mini Cooper today with the license plate "VMP GRL." I looked closely at the license plate frame. It read, "I drive like a Cullen," in reference to the vampire family in Twilight. Ugh.

Spring Break...Yay!

2011-04-18T17:34:00.000-07:00

Robby and I took the baby to day care and worked for 6.5 hours at our computers. I revised 13 pages of Chapter 2...Yay! I am making some major revisions, so it has taken very long. I put the chapter down for a month because I was afraid to revise it, but looking over it and creating at backward outline (Robby's advice) has helped me hone in on my topic. 15 pages left to revise!

Baby Blues

2011-04-15T03:41:00.001-07:00

Atticus woke up at 2:30pm this morning crying uncontrollably. I went into his room & tried to shove the pacifier in his mouth, but he wouldn't take it. Tried to change his diaper, but he wouldn't sit still. He wouldn't even allow me to hold him. Robby got up, conjectured that the baby wanted milk, and we forcefully put him down & went back to sleep.

The baby has been throwing little tantrums lately. We can't figure out if it's physiological or brattiness. It could be a little bit of both. He wants sweet food when we feed him, so we mix little bits of grapes with his chicken or small dollops of yogurt with his egg.

So it's 4am, & I haven't gone back to bed yet. Today is the last day before Spring Break at Heritage, & I have a long list of things to do over vacation: revise Chapter 2 of my dissertation, complete Chapter 1, grade essays, get come Mommy-baby quality time, plan for the rest of the year...

Robby will scold me for being up, I know it. He just finished Chapter 7 of his dissertation. He is hoping to finish by next week. I can't wait to celebrate! After so many weeks of sitting raptly at the computer, he has finally crunched out this tedious dissertation. Mine may be more onerous because I'm gathering qualitative data, which means observations, which means transcribing dialogue, which means analyzing hours of observation notes... oi...

All of Westside LA was congested with impatient cars yesterday afternoon. Drivers looking for short cuts zoomed down our normally placid street. The weather was finally pleasant and sunny (it can never get too bad in LA, can it?), so Robby thinks that people were anxious to enjoy the sun.

It's been ages!

2011-04-02T11:38:00.001-07:00

It has been ages since I've posted an entry in this blog.
Since my last entry, lots have happened.

Robby's mom & stepdad spent 2 glorious weeks with us in January. His grandmother also came for 4 days. Our cozy family crowded the apartment, but every inch of it was filled with warmth and sound. We loved the company and the busy evenings.

Atticus turned one and had a birthday party. Robby organized a knife-choosing ceremony. Out of 10 knives, Atticus chose the one with chopsticks, which signifies that he will be a big eater. We got a delicious tart from Porto's and invited lots of friends and family members. Two out of the three godfathers drove down from the Bay Area, & Atticus received four letters that will be opened ten and twenty years from now.

He can now walk pretty well. He loves to open cabinets and touch stuff. He can say "agua" pretty clearly. He can feed himself, imitate others, & blow kisses. He is getting over an ear infection right now, poor thing. We've bonded this weekend with Robby gone to his aunt's wedding.

Robby is still writing his dissertation & should be done by this summer. He'll be walking in May, so we will both cut our hair by then. My hair is so long that sometimes I sit on it. I can't wait to have a short do again.

Long Time No Write

2011-02-19T05:07:00.000-08:00

Atticus can now...

1. kind of blow kisses
2. say "da da", though we haven't determined if he calling for Robby or not. I think he is.
3. stand for about 5 seconds without holding anything
4. say "agua."
5. tilt his head and feign sleep when we say, "baby sleeping."
6. point at things.
7. climb our bean bag.
8. do the hand motions for the song "The Wheels on the Bus."

He's turning one on Tuesday, February 22nd! We are so excited that he is having his first birthday. He is eating really chunky food, & he is a big fan of fruit.

On the dissertation side of life, I just completed an outline for Chapter 2, the lit review. I should have Chapter 2 written already, but teaching has gotten in the way of it all.

On the work side of things, I have never been closer to quitting. I keep going back and forth. Robby is super-supportive & only wants me to be happy & less stressed. Frankly, I am so stressed that I wake up at 3am, like this morning, & different scenarios of my quitting race through my head. The stress is really getting to me. But I go to school, & I am reminded by how much I love my students. & I forget how tired I am when I get home, or how little I see Atticus every day, or how little work I am completing for my dissertation. I had a chance to face my principal yesterday and give him my notice, but I balked. He pressured me to stay with reminders that I would be breaking my contract, that I would not be able to find another job after having left this one mid-year, and that I would be disappointing the kids. I agreed to stay, but now I'm not sure I made the right decision.

Yesterday, a kid in fourth period asked me, "Ms. Loh, do you love me?" & I replied, "Yes, I love you, Lalo." I love all my students, but is it worth all this mental anguish of balancing grad school, teaching, and family?

Right now, family is the lowest of my priorities right now, and I hate myself for that. I guess that sums it up: I am self-hating for having to juggle all these priorities.

Why don't all the teeth come out at once?

2010-12-11T21:54:00.000-08:00

Atticus has been fussy for the past week for two reasons:

1. We think he is teething. He currently has 6 teeth (4 on top & 2 on the bottom), but we think his molars are coming out. He whines when we feed him sometimes. He prefers chewing on a teething biscuit. He also cries when we feed him milk once in a while. For a few nights he woke up at 10pm, 2am, & 4am and drank 3 bottles of milk, depleting my refrigerated reserve.

2. He has developed separation anxiety. Even in our tiny 2-bedroom apartment, he will cry when we set him down & walk across the hall to use the restroom.
_____________________________________
My maternal grandmother cannot pronounce his name & calls him "Atticut," which ends up sounding like "Etiquette." I drove her to dinner tonight from my grandfather's grave site, and all I heard from the backseat was "Etiquette, Etiquette." I had to chuckle.

My dad calls him "Attica" sometimes, which makes me think of the prison in New York State, I think.
_____________________________________

He will raise his arms, clap hands, give high fives, & kiss by leaning in all on command. It's wonderful. We love a baby who follows directions. How long will that last?

Interacting with your baby can be fun!

2010-11-28T08:41:00.000-08:00

We came to New Jersey for Robby's 10-year high school reunion & Thanksgiving with Dad & Nancy. We had a delicious Thanksgiving meal cooked by Nancy. It had all the Thanksgiving-meal staple dishes: turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, etc. The baby ate a little turkey with his avocado.

We've been re-exploring New Providence with the baby. It's such a small town that Robby keeps running into acquaintances in the local stores and shopping centers. He misses this small-town feeling. I'm stuck in the hotel room working on my term papers due next week. I have two papers due on Friday, so I have to keeping working until they're done.

Atticus is a trooper. He gets hauled in & out of the carseat. He eats whatever we feed him. We've run out of baby food, so we feed him whatever is on the dinner table (most anything mushy & dairy-free). He sleeps when we put him down. He has been babysat for twice already (once by Nina's parents & once by Dr. Feinberg), so he has had to wake up at 11pm when we pick him up. He has been absolutely easy.

Back to work!

He follows directions!

2010-11-21T20:54:00.000-08:00

At the dinner table, we shout, "Arms up!" in English and in Chinese. When Atticus raises his arms, we give hug and kiss him and give positive reinforcement. He shoots his arms up & calls out to us, expecting kisses. We gasp in feigned surprise & laugh and kiss him.

If you're on the babygroup list, you can see a video of this new exercise.

Our interactions have changed so dramatically in the past week. He now looks at us differently...with a look of expectation. We can communicate him in a more complex way (as complex as we can with a 9-month old). We exchange sounds and responses now, which is SO nice! No longer do we coo at his expressionless face. No longer do we work up a sweat trying to eek out a laugh or a smile from him.

Yay.

He crawls!

2010-11-20T06:07:00.000-08:00

Forward!

Atticus has been crawling backward for the past few weeks. Yesterday at daycare was the first time I watched him crawl forward towards me!

It looks a little strange because instead of being on all fours, one knee is up with him leg planted on the ground.

He's mobile!

Atticus's First Number

2010-11-19T19:34:00.000-08:00

Atticus got his first digits tonight.

I had been driving home from work when I heard a restaurant review on NPR by Jonathan Gold, Pulitzer Prize winning food critic from the LA Weekly. He reviewed a new restaurant in Culver City called the A Frame. I called Robby up & we decided to check it out. The chef also started the phenomenal chain of Kogi trucks, which are famous for its Korean tacos. The food at A Frame was delicious: soft crab cakes, grilled lamp chops, & a lemongrass clam chowder. We also met the chef/owner & got to compliment on the food.

The hostess of the restaurant was so enamored by the Boy that she volunteered to babysit him & gave us her number. She carried him for a bit while we finished our dessert & told Robby that she lived at an ashram in India with her hippy mom when she was a child. Cool stuff. We're glad we got a chance to enjoy this restaurant before it gets pretentious.

Approaching 9 months...

2010-11-13T20:11:00.000-08:00

Atticus is almost 8 months and 3 weeks.

He can go from lying position to sitting-up position by pushing himself backward & tucking on leg underneath his body. He can lean forward on both hands & prop himself up on his hands and knees. He is dying to crawl & almost there. When he pushes forward, he lands on his belly - legs and knees up in the air - & looks like a sunbathing whale.

Just in the past few days, he has begun yelling out for attention, we assume. He contorts his face (one eye squinting) & opens his mouth loudly... "Ahhh!" Robby thinks he has learned this from his classmates in day care who shout out for attention.

Yesterday, he began clapping his hands. I'm not sure he's doing it deliberately, though. He also started lifting both arms up.

Our baby boy is getting so big!

Happy Halloween!

2010-11-01T05:53:00.001-07:00

This year was Atticus's first Halloween!

Our rigid & packed schedule doesn't allow us to participate in social events, so we decided to throw a little party in the backyard. Also, we were too busy to cook, so we made it a pot luck.

Robby dressed up as a chef, I was a waitress, & the boy was broccoli in a pot. Then he peed while I was changing his diaper & got his costume & my costume wet.

Our party started at 2pm & ended at 5pm. Afterward, we took a short walk around the neighborhood to see all the activity. There were some elaborate displays with sound effects, strobe lights, & animatronics. One house even had a few actors leaping onto trick-or-treaters as they traipsed toward the front door for candy. One neighbor created a haunted house in his backyard. I didn't have the guts to walk through it, but Robby did, & he said it was pretty scary.

Next year, we'll go trick-or-treating & really enjoy being out among the ghouls and ghosties.

Barely Sane

2010-10-13T13:37:00.000-07:00

I called in sick today. Constant coughing since Sunday has led to a sore throat. Plus, a general lack of sleep has made me exhausted. Today the students have a half day taking a practice PSAT, so I haven't bailed out on them on a day that I could be teaching English. It's my second day off this semester, & I feel bad for disappointing them, but my health has been teetering ever since the school year started. I am always on the verge of illness by Wednesday. Today, as I walked through the apartment after sleeping in until 8am, I asked myself, How will I survive this kind of workload for the next 8 months? I ask myself this question often, & all I can do is take it day to day, do the best I can in juggling teaching, grading, the hours at school, a full graduate course load, & time with baby and partner. Needless to say, even on this day of rest, my thoughts are tinged with despair.

But the boy is fantastic! He is standing with our help now. I am sure that he will be crawling in the coming weeks & walking in the coming months. He loves to stand, squat, & stand. Last night, he had his first fall. He bumped his head on the base of a foot stool & cried so soulfully. I had never heard him cry like that before. It was a pitiful cry, not like the frustrated cry of hunger or the whiny cry of loneliness. He's been a big eater of baby food lately, & I've started feeding him a little water from a sippy cup. His repertoire of food is growing.

On a side note, my dad found an old photo of my grandfather online. It was taken in 1938 when China was invaded by Japan. Back then, the Soviet Union & China were tight. My grandfather, about 26 years old, is pictured with a Soviet air force squadron leader whom he had saved from a Japanese flying ace during a dogfight. My father found out later that the Russian pilot had traveled to China in 1988 to look for my grandfather. But after the Communist Revolution, my grandfather left China for Taiwan. By 1988, he had died from pancreatic cancer. He is so handsome in this photo, isn't he?

Barely with the Boy

2010-09-25T08:30:00.000-07:00

Our days are busy. I can account for every minute of the 10 hours I spend at school each day. From the time I pick up the boy from daycare to the time I put him to bed, I kiss and hug him to make up for the lost time we spent apart. When Robby comes home later from campus, I take the boy on a walk & we watch birds and fountains and trees together.

On Saturday mornings, while he sleeps with his papa, I clean the kitchen and apartment, do a bit of yoga to stretch out my tired muscles, and do a little graduate school work. Our days are predictable and busy, & though Robby misses all the days we would spend side by side, it feels good to be busy. When I drive through Los Angeles - heading towards downtown on the 110 with skyscrapers looming ahead & trudging on the 10 past Hoover & Vermont & Crenshaw - I feel a part of the city, as if it were a living organism in constant movement...each individual serves a purpose (albeit mine might be tiny) in keeping this massive sprawl functioning and flowing.

3 weeks done, 10 weeks left 'til Thanksgiving!

2010-09-18T08:44:00.000-07:00

My third and first full week of teaching has just ended. At first, I was impressed by my well-behaved 10th graders. But they caught onto how relaxed & easygoing I am, & in this third week they have taken advantage of my patience and flexibility. I stayed at work until 5:30pm yesterday (Friday) because I had some problem students to take care of. Disciplining students is a tiring and arduous process of progressive steps that start with warnings, detention, calls home, talks with administrators, and meetings with parents. Next week, I have meetings with parents.

Freshly frustrated on a Friday afternoon, & having to contend with Friday traffic, I came home flustered. I shared with Robby a sudden epiphany I had that afternoon: I don't deal with conflict well at all. I rarely encountered conflict in my family or my social circles, so I had never practiced dealing with inter-personal conflict. Now, after so many years of teaching, I understand why I've never been very good at dealing with conflict efficaciously and intelligently. I am usually driven by emotion when I argue with a student. I don't stop to think rationally & thoughtfully. I show my emotions too easily & react too quickly.

So next week, I will try to curb my emotions and deal with my few naughty students with as little expression as possible. I wrote a little note to remind myself of this new discovery, and I am eager to try again. My students need consistency, and I need to be consistently strict with them so that I can serve my purpose (teach) instead of dealing with the few annoying students who seem to take up most of my already spent energy.

As for Atticus, he is eager to be mobile. He loves to sit up, but he can't move around yet. He will sometimes lunge forward onto his belly, but all he can do from there is roll onto his back.

He completed his 6-month shots, & Robby said he was a trooper.

Atticus has also started to blow raspberries full of spit. Yesterday, while I was feeding him dinner, he began spitting it out in all directions. I hope this doesn't become a habit.

Yesterday was Robby & my 5th-year, first-date anniversary. We had a wonderful meal of masala dosas, saag, and rice. The weather is getting chilly, & Robby is always reluctant to take Atticus out on walks.

Here are some recent pictures of the boy. He is now 4 days short of 7 months old.

6-month-old Atticus

2010-09-06T19:55:00.000-07:00

New news about our precious baby boy:

1. He now chews on his feet. Robby likes to hold him on his chest with his feet up, so that his body is folded over.

2. He loves peek-a-boo. He'll stay entertained for over 15 minutes with this game, and he laughs loudly and in short bursts. Sometimes he even shudders with surprise.

3. He loves the little music aquarium tied to the side of his crib. We often hear him tapping the levers and pushing the button that emits music. Besides our computers, it's the closest to television he'll experience for awhile.

4. He loves to gnaw on Sophie the Giraffe. We received 5 of these for our baby shower, and we are convinced that it is the most awesome teething toy ever.

5. He is very good at sitting up. We put him sitting up on a vinyl picnic blanket and surround him with blankets & pillows, & he will happily watch us work at our computers. Sometimes, he will lunge forward onto his tummy and then roll over onto his back. He's close to getting mobile!

6. Unfortunately, he isn't completely sleep-trained yet. Once or twice a night, he will cry loudly until we pop the pacifier in mouth. A few times, he has cried out of hunger, so we have given in and fed him.

7. He is a very light sleeper, so when I get up at 5:15am, I can usually hear him stirring after I brush my teeth.

8. Knots of hair form on the back of his head because he rubs his head against the crib sheet. They're like little dreadlocks with lint mashed into them.

Super-busy working mommy & daddy

2010-09-06T19:40:00.001-07:00

Happy Labor Day weekend!

I have just completed my first week of school at Heritage College-Ready High School in Los Angeles. I am the only 10th grade English teacher, and & I have over 150 students. I am also continuing my EdD program at USC. Yes, after a year and half of not working, I am a sudden glutton for punishment.

The first week was a killer. I went to bed around 9pm every night. I'd wake up around 5:30am, leave for school around 6 of 6:15am, arrive at 6:40am, & prepare for classes until first period's bell rang at 7:45am. The kids get out of school at 3:30pm, and I leave campus around 4:30pm. LONG DAYS. Even though time flies when I'm at school, I can't believe I'm there 10 hours a day!

Since I teach only and all tenth grade English classes, I only have one prep right now, which is pretty sweet. I see each class only three times a week. Each class has 2 two-hour block periods and one 45-min. period. The entire school has 587 students and the majority are Latino. Since the school colors are white, grey, & black, freshman students wear white polo shirts, the sophomores wear grey ones, the juniors dark gray, & the seniors black. All kids wear either dress slacks or skirts, and their shoes must be black, white or grey. Teachers at Heritage are very strict about the uniform policy, and I have gotten into the habit of doing uniform and agenda-book checks at my door at the beginning of each period.

The students are very well-behaved and polite. They are a nice bunch of kids...good-humored, friendly, polite. Of course, each class has one or two loud, playful, distracting & distractible students, but they're 15 years old...I'm amazed there are only a few in every class. Even these kids are pretty receptive. I haven't any mean, malicious, or sullen kids. I've been very impressed so far. Good behavior goes a long way when it comes to a teacher's ability to actually teach a class.

Atticus is in day care full time, and it breaks my heart whenever I think about spending whole days without him beside me. I am in my third week of the fall semester at USC, so on Wednesdays, I have to bolt out of school at 3:30pm & rush to my 4pm class on campus. Classes end at 10pm, so by the time I come home, the bugger is already fast asleep, and I have to shower & rush to bed so that I can prepare for a long Thursday without any free periods. On Thursdays, I teach the entire day with only Nutrition and Lunch for breaks. But on Friday, I get a two-hour break from my free second period.

I don't know how I'm going to manage my homework from USC. Not only do I have weekly reading assignments to complete, but I must also participate on an online discussion board and write midterms & final papers. How my classmates in my program do this?!

Well, we're taking it a day at a time. & I make sure to spend every waking moment with Atticus on the weekends, when I can take him off of Robby's hands.

Week 2 of school starts tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Fresh Start

2010-08-12T20:59:00.001-07:00

So much as happened since our trip to the Bay Area.

We moved out of a one-bedroom apartment into a two bedroom. We spent one day moving all our belongings to the new place & five days settling in & organizing. Our moving day was fun because we hired our neighbor's teenage son & his friend, who were so indispensable to our tasks that day. We couldn't have done the move without them. They were good-humored and friendly, which made moving day less stressful.

Atticus had outgrown the bassinet and was sleeping on the floor beside our bed. He was sleeping poorly because we made too much noise coming in & out of the room. Now, he has his own room, which has a mural & a cool rug. His changing table is in the corner of the room, so he can look out onto the backyard. The last tenants pasted stars made of aluminum on the ceiling. I love it.

This place is a definite upgrade from our last apartment & Robby & I are very satisfied with it.

Our kitchen walls are a deep red. Our living room is light green. & our bedroom has two cornflower blue walls. & we bought fabric with wacky patterns from Ikea & made curtains.

On the first night, Atticus slept 6 hours - a record! He woke up smiling & looking curiously at everything on the walls. He sits steadily in his Stokke & today tried out a bumper jumper chair that hangs from the doorjamb that divides the kitchen & the living room. Today, he finished two full containers of baby food (carrot). Impressive.

We love our new home.

After I start work, I hope I can still enjoy it.

Bye, Bay Area!

2010-08-02T22:35:00.000-07:00

We returned from the Bay Area tonight. The drive was long and arduous. Robby must has been a truck driver in a past life because he has immense stamina for driving long distances. He plugged in his earphones to listen to his sci-fi podcast while I sat in the back with Atticus and we baked in the 100-degree heat under the sun.

Our five-day trip was a fun one. We hung out with my sisters & their children. We kissed all our nieces. Met a new niece (2 months old). We hung out with Robby's dad & stepmom (Gramps & Grammy), first in Berkeley, then Moraga, then Palo Alto. I showed them around the UC Berkeley campus & explained all my old haunts to Atticus. The grandparents bought some Cal gear for him. We had dinner with Aunt Pat & Uncle Tom & their friends in Moraga, an lush & quiet oasis beyond the Berkeley Hills. Made some new friends & made smores. It was a wonderful trip full of family gatherings.

Now we've unloaded the car, unpacked, bathed & fed Atticus, put him to sleep, & scarfed down a Trader Joe's dinner. We have 3 days to box our belongings before we move to our new apartment.

Note: Robby & I love to have conversations in bed before we fall asleep. Last night, we talked about the pros & cons of buying a house. No way are we in the position now to purchase a home, but recently some friends have & it got us thinking. As we talked, a very simple idea occurred to me (I don't know why I didn't realize it so plainly before): We will always end up paying more than the sale price of the home because of interest from a loan. Does that mean that most people end up paying more for their house than what it's worth? I've read numerous articles about the housing crisis, so I am familiar with the different theories that explain the bursting bubble (though some economists will argue that there never was a bubble to begin with). But last night the thought finally hit me loudly & clearly, & suddenly the thought of buying a house made my stomach turn. Why lock yourself into a house that will end up costing more than its worth? I guess we can't predict the worth of a house over time, but people are misled to assumed that housing prices always rise. Anyway, our conversation gave me some food for thought. We like renting. We like the idea of not being locked into one place, one house, one city. If we wanted to pack up & move to Europe or the East Coast, it would quite easy for us. I guess we both don't mind being nomads.

Good night!

Bay A-rea!!

2010-07-31T15:37:00.000-07:00

We're up in the Bay Area right now & will be leaving in a few days. I am furiously working on a paper for my Statistics class (actually, it's called Inquiry Methods) due next Wednesday. So I've left Atticus with Robby, & they're hanging with my three nieces, who have spent every minute since we got here crowding around Atticus face, poking & prodding him, while he grabs a fistful of hair & shrieks when they put their face too close to his.

Our Whole Unit Together Again

2010-07-22T14:24:00.001-07:00

Robby is finally back from Oxford University. He had two wonderful weeks sans family, endless days of skateboarding through the narrow, ancient streets that inspired Harry Potter, & all sorts of cultural activities that broadened his mind.

SInce he's been back, he has been a spectacular Mr. Mom. He wakes up twice a night to feed Atticus, so that I can sleep & be better rested for class the following day. He has cooked several times, vacuumed the living room for his cousin's arrival, tidied up the bathroom, & packed boxes for our move to the new apartment. I have never seen him so productive around domestic tasks.

Atticus has had a little trouble acclimating to our family life. With my parents, he received continuous attention in a capacious house. In our one-bedroom apartment, he has had to get accustomed to the noise, and Robby & I talk much more to each other while he watches on. I wouldn't say that we IGNORE him, but we are certainly more parent-centric that most parents & definitely my own parents. He can be a little unhappy about the lack of attention given him. We do fawn over him occasionally, but we don't service him every minute of the day.

2010-07-14T23:04:00.000-07:00

My parents are having a ball taking care of Atticus these days while I work & go to school. While I commute tirelessly (NOT) from the OC to LA, they hang out at home with him, take him for walks around the neighborhood, & feed him rice cereal, which he loves. They get him all to themselves, & they only wish that his Gramps, Grammy, Omi, & Opa had all this time to spend with them. I think they know how fortunate they are that Robby & I are living in Los Angeles.

What has Atticus been up to lately?

Well, when Robby returns from Oxford, he will see a more mature little baby! Well, maybe not mature, but his motor skills have definitely improved. For awhile now, he has been gripping my fingers above his body while I put him to sleep. He touches things purposefully now. When I read to him, he is less interested in the pictures & more interested in grabbing the corner of the board book. He deliberately grabs the animals that hang from the play mat.

He is much more comfortable at lying on his tummy, though he still has difficulty rolling to his back. My dad is trying to teach him to sleep on his stomach because babies usually sleep better that way. I know, doctors warn against sleeping on the belly due to higher rates of SIDS, but he rarely sleeps on his belly & only for naps during the day. He can pick up his head now, so I don't think SIDS would be a problem.

He is also very good at sitting up now. He still needs assistance, but he doesn't wobble around as much. Most of his day is spent lying on his back, so sitting up is a real treat for him.

He absolutely loves singing. When he hears my mom or my singing, he freezes & listens intently.

Also, he has gotten into the habit of resting his head on my shoulder when I carry him upright. I love that. He no longer jerks his head up & looks over his left shoulder as much. Sometimes, he nestles his head in my collarbone.

I can't wait for him to see his faraway grandparents!

Work, School, Baby

2010-07-10T22:04:00.000-07:00

For the first time, I am juggling work, school, & Baby. For this past week, I have been teaching ESL part-time, going to my summer class at USC, and taking care of Baby. I'm lucky, though. With Robby gone, I'm fortunate enough to elicit help from my parents, who love the opportunity to spend more time with their grand baby. Plus, I've got a small class of friendly foreign students (6 kids from Spain & Italy), a light teaching schedule (3.5 hours a day), & a light teaching load (no homework in this summer ESL class). But what happens after the first week? I get sick!

This schedule is good practice for this fall, when I begin teaching full time & continue taking classes at USC. I have both dreaded & excitedly anticipated these days for many months now. I have never handled such a full workload. Although I have class one evening a week for 6 hours, USC's EdD program is very demanding - lots of reading & analysis, professors with high expectations, & long papers to write at the end of each term.

With the lack of sleep - Baby has been waking up 3 hours - and the commute from Orange County to Marina del Rey, my body is unaccustomed to so much activity. My parents have been generous enough to offer to sleep with the baby through the night. My mom has a small ice chest full of bottled breast milk & a bottle warmer in their bedroom, & she has set up a little diaper-changing station, so they are prepared for the Baby's midnight waking and midnight snacking. Oh it's easy, she says. They have slept with him for 5 nights now, & I hope they don't become too exhausted from the interrupted sleep.

When I get better, I'll take him back to my room, where he'll sleep next to me...where I can listen to his rustling and squeaking and snoring. At least for now I'll be able to sleep through the night & get rid of this cold.

Without my hubby & Baby sleeping near me, I find myself repeating aloud, "I miss my babies" for a few moments before I fall asleep.

July 4th without Hubby

2010-07-04T09:23:00.000-07:00

Happy July 4th!

Last week was rough. Robby called our Singapore trip "the benefit" & the week(s) following "the cost". We think jet lag is the main culprit for our weariness. Atticus has been waking 3-5 times a night, & with his refusal to nurse & my time at the breast pump, I have little sleep time. Robby takes on the duties of feeding while I pump, so we are usually both up during the night.

Yesterday Robby & I celebrated our second wedding anniversary in the most frenetic, harried fashion. We dropped off Atticus at my parents' house, hung out for lunch & a chat, then bolted back to Los Angeles to get Robby ready for his evening flight to London. We had a quick meal of Korean tacos at the Alibi Room (served by the Kogi Korean taco truck). The sliders are amazing. We shouldn't have ordered anything else. We also had Korean tacos & leaf tacos (cold tofu & Asian pear sandwiched in a large mint leaf). We should have stuck to the sliders.

Robby will have a summer adventure in England while Atticus & I hold down the fort. I will be teaching ESL at Loyola Marymount University to a bunch of affluent foreign teenagers who have mostly come from Brazil, Spain, & Russia. It will be a fun gig.

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Atticus milestones:

1. We've moved onto big glass bottles. Atticus now drinks from 8oz. bottles instead of 4oz. ones. I'm tired of rushing to heat up bottle #2 after he has gobbled up bottle #1, has decidedly determined that there is a conspiracy against his full stomach, &, upon removing his lips from bottle #1, has screamed at the top of his lungs.
After reading an article in the New Yorker weighing the dangers of BPA & plastics, I decided to use glass bottles by Evenflo. Duh, I should have known...I have always been wary of heating plastic, but this article solidified by fears. If one might interpret it as paranoia, so be it. All I know is that my generation began the habit of heating plastic (in the microwave with Saran Wrap, usually), & though it was occasionally practiced in my family - the TV dinner or ceramic bowl wrapped with a sheet of plastic - this next generation practically lives off plastic & microwave.

2. My maternal grandmother, Atticus's great-grandmother here in Southern California, likes to call his coiffure a "business hair" (roughly translated from Cantonese). He's got a part way over on the right side of his head (created by the second swirl on the back of his head). Actually, the part is so far over near his left ear, that he looks as if he wears a toupee or has a serious middle-aged comb-over. Anyway, with his hair parted & flat, "business hair" suits him well.

3. Atticus & I converse daily. I make a noise, then he makes a noise. We go back & forth a few times until we start laughing simultaneously. Sometimes, he will speak over me, & when I stop emitting sound, he stops as well, suspicious of the sudden silence. When I sing "Baby Mine" (from Dumbo), he likes to talk over my voice as well. It's murmuring that expresses how pleased he is with my singing (I think). He likes singing anyway.

4. He has learned to cover his face when he sleeps. I started covering his eyes with his lovie when he napped in my parents' sunlit family room. My grandmother scolded me for fear of suffocating him, so I stopped. Now he does it all on his own. Yeah, it's pretty cute.

Our Roly Poly is Stuck in Singapore

2010-07-01T18:16:00.001-07:00

Atticus rolled for the first time yesterday as he was being inspected by his pediatrician. He went from stomach to back. It took him a painstakingly long time, but stood next to him & rooted him on as he stretched, arched, & pushed himself over. We love milestones!

He has been gnawing on his hand a lot & some nights waking up 4-5 times a night wanting to feed. He is above the mean on the growth chart. Being 4 months & 1 week & already 16 pounds, he is a large baby, especially considering that breast milk is his only source of food. We've had such trouble sleeping through the night this week. I am a walking zombie much of the day. Can't finish sentences, can't keep complex thoughts in my head...

The pediatrician suggested feeding him rice cereal. Although I read two baby books that stated there was little evidence showing that solids make babies sleep through the night, the pediatrician touted that solids would. So we fed him solids last night, & he happily ate it up & laughed while chomping away.

Our Year-two anniversary is on Saturday. The same day that Robby is leaving for Oxford for two weeks. I joke around and say that he owes me big time for leaving the baby with me & my parents, but I'm lucky that my parents love babies & are willing to help. Still, it's not the same when Daddy isn't around.

Back in Los Angeles. Bye, bye Singapore.

2010-06-27T19:45:00.000-07:00

After 15 hours of flight time & a total of 24 hours of travel time, we are back in our nook of the world in Los Angeles, California.

We left Pan-Pacific Hotel at 6:30am, ate some mediocre dim sum at the Singapore Airport, & boarded a 9:40am flight with Singapore Airlines. After a 6-hour flight, we landed around 6pm in Tokyo's Narita Airport for an hour layover, went through security for connecting flights, & hopped back onto the same place (different staff) for a 9-hour flight to Los Angeles.

The way back west was much faster than our first trip going toward Asia. With tailwind, we cut an hour from our Tokyo-to-LA flight. We were also better at managing Atticus, who was, again, so well behaved that he cried 2-3 times for no longer than 3 min. His problem was easy to figure out: he was hungry. On our descent into Los Angeles, he sat on my lap with his own infant seat belt & smiled & laughed with the flight attendant who sat opposite us. He was an angel on board.

Next to us sat a young Indian couple with a boy of about 1.5 years of age. He was a incorrigible little brat, but from watching him interact with his parents, it was clear to us that his parents were to blame for his behavior. On taking off from Singapore Airport, the boy cried loudly & uncontrollably upon being put into the infant seat belt, & instead of chastising his behavior, they argued with the flight attendants on the necessity of using the belt. As we took off, the mother pulled him out & held him, & the flight attendants looked over at her disapprovingly. The parents also resisted putting their belongings in the overhead compartment. Since we were sitting in the bulkhead seats, we had no storage space under our feet, so everything went up top. The poor, beleaguered flight attendants had to explain, insist, & warn the parents to comply with the policy.

Throughout the flight from Singapore to Tokyo, the little boy was either misbehaving or crying. He would sweep his hand over his father's food tray & send cups & utensils spilling onto the ground. He would pick up his toys & throw them at his mother or on the floor. Or he would just cry loudly when he didn't get his way. Instead of admonishing him, the doting parents tried distraction, placing another object in front of his face or picking him up. They gave him an ice cream bar, which he held & ate, though he spilled chunks of ice cream all over his mother's lap & seat.

Robby wanted to speak with the parents about his behavior, but I warned him of a recently established rule that we have been discussing lately:
Never criticize a parent about his/her parenting.
Nothing productive can come of it. Parents already feel insecurity about their skills as parents, so criticizing them will make them angry & defensive. I reassured Robby that the parents probably already felt embarrassed by the irritating scene that their son was making. It was obvious to everyone that their little boy controlled them. The descent into Tokyo was another melodramatic scene with the little boy & parents' refusal to use the infant seat belt. I had to sing to Atticus to keep him from turning his head toward the little boy & crying from empathy (Robby has told me something about mirror neurons...).

At Narita Airport in Tokyo, I kept my fingers crossed & wished that another family would be placed in our row, but to our misfortune, the same family returned. This time, before taking off, Robby suggested to the mother that she administer Baby Benadryl to her son to calm him. What a suggestion...your child is inconsolable, so give him some drugs! She said that his behavior wasn't so bad & that worse behavior might warrant some baby drug use. Luckily, for the entire flight, the boy was reasonably quiet. I don't think his parents changed their behavior, but I think that he was tired.

In conclusion, parents do not welcome criticism of any sort about their parenting skills. They/we are very sensitive about them & will react with anger, denial, or resentment. They might be thinking, "Try raising this kid" or "You don't know a thing about kids" or "You've got one kid, try raising two!" & it's true, we're new parents with a pleasant-tempered 4-month-old baby. WE LUCKED OUT with such a well-behaved baby. So we might as well count our blessings & keep our mouths shut when other parents struggle.

Now with that said, I have to go back my older postings & insert pictures.

Day 6: Red Light District & Satay

2010-06-25T16:01:00.001-07:00

Slow morning today. At 9:30am, we have to queue in a long line for the breakfast buffet of our hotel. After a scrumptious meal of rice porridge, dim sum, salad, noodle soup, roti prata, vegetable samosas, & muffins, we walk around the Millenia Walk Mall adjacent to the hotel & come back to our room to rest. Atticus is very tired & a bit fussy, so we think it best to let him sleep in his crib.

After a nap, we head to Geylang to meet a few of Robby's colleagues. Geylang is Singapore's red light district. The temperature outside is unbearably hot & oppressive, & we walk towards Geylang from the MRT station in searing heat. Poor Atticus. He is drenched in his own sweat. We find Patrick & Scott in the middle of Geylang District, which appears to be pretty quiet and unassuming in the afternoon. The night walkers & johns don't emerge until 7pm, we're informed. We do pass a few massage parlors with women standing outside. They look into the stroller as we pass, & both Robby & I notice the melancholy expression on their face as they see Atticus. We guess what they might be thinking. Even though it is not time for the prostitutes to come out, the street is filled with mostly men, loitering men who sit at open-air restaurants. Everyone looks curiously at us, a couple who has brought their baby to the seediest & most licentious place in Singapore. We see a few prostitutes waiting on the side of the street. They are dressed up, teetering in heels & modestly covered with make-up. We also walk by a brothel, a large house set back from the street with beaded curtains in front of all the doors and windows and women sitting on plastic chairs inside.

Although Singapore is famous for its strict adherence to moral laws, the government seems to leave the Geylang District alone. It is hardly immaculate with its littered streets. There isn't a family or a child in sight. It doesn't have the touristy feeling of Amsterdam's red light district or the glitzy lights of Tokyo's red light district. Here, people are allows to indulge in the usual vices. This place depresses me, & I can't imagine the lives of the women who work & live here.

(We've been told that prostitution is legal here.)

For dinner, we meet up with Joe at Lau Pa Sat, a hawker food court near Raffles Plaza & the business district of Singapore. A few blocks are closed to cars & tables are set out for patrons. We are here for the satay. With smoke billowing from the food stalls, the hawkers aggressively usher us to empty tables & follow us as we wander to look for Joe. When we finally sit down, we order over 70 skewers of chicken, lamb, beef, & shrimp. Each skewer has two small pieces of meat, so we each eat around 20 skewers. The satay sauce is delicious & a little spicy. Different than the satay sauce we get at Thai restaurants in the U.S. But Robby & I wish that we had come to Lau Pa Sat earlier this week. It's an incredible experience.

We return to Los Angeles tomorrow on a 9:30am flight. It's another 16-hour flight...23 hours of travel time, from waiting at airports to layovers to picking up luggage...

Goodbye, Singapore! Goodbye, Pan-Pacific Hotel, the most extravagant hotel we've stayed in! Goodbye, Chinatown, Little India, & Kampong Glam (Arab District). Goodbye, Doby Ghaut, Orchard Road, City Hall, Esplanade, & Raffles Plaza! Goodbye, Sun-Tec Convention Centre & Food Republic! Goodbye, dim sum, soy milk, paratha/prata/roti prata, congee (rice porridge), satay, black pepper crab, bee hoon noodles!

Day Five: Megamalls on Orchard Rd. & the Night Safari

2010-06-25T08:54:00.000-07:00

Today is another family day. We plan on going to Kampong Glam (known to tourists as Arab Quarters), but when we wake up at 6am, there is a thunderstorm pouring down outside. The sky is white & misty & appears to be foggy. But with a closer look, we see medium-sized drops of torrential rain. Not a good day to be outside.

We have a yummy breakfast at the Food Republic food court in the Sun-Tec Convention Centre: pratas (a Singaporean invention based on the the paratha - pretty much the same thing), warm soy milk, a curry puff, & a sesame ball filled with red bean & peanut chunks). The food court is behind us in this photo.

Since the rain has not let up by 10am, our destination is Orchard Road. Originally, we were not planning to go there - the street is full of huge malls & international brands, much like Ometesando Road in the Harajuku area of Tokyo... not up our alley as far as tourist destinations go. But we figure that the malls will offer some shelter from the wet. We take the MRT from City Hall to Orchard Road & emerge from the subway station to see a large street lined with enormous modern-looking malls, mostly glass and steel buildings with outdoor digital advertisements.

Besides the massive malls, Orchard Road is lined with tall, tropical Heritage trees which had thin, dark trunks & a wide umbrella-like canopy of leaves. They're beautiful, lush, & add so much green to the steel city.

In the cheaper, no-AC, no-lift (what they call elevators here) Lucky Plaza, I find the one souvenir I want from Singapore. I couldn't find it in neither Chinatown nor in Little India. The problem with buying souvenirs in Singapore is that this country is such a product of distinct regional & ethnic culture that it's hard to find something distinctly Singaporean besides the food (& it's a shame we can't bring the food home). Souvenirs can be distinctly Chinese (marble stamps and lion-dancing puppets) or Indian (bejeweled jewelry boxes or little brightly painted Vishnu statues). But I've discovered my fondness for the uniforms of Singapore Airlines flight attendants, particularly the print of their clothing, so a few days ago I set the goal of searching for the fabric. I find it in Lucky Plaza, but it costs of pretty penny: $45 for a 2-meter square. I have a feeling I have paid too much for it, but Robby is absent (getting hot water to heat Atticus's milk) when I try to bargain. He is far superior than I am in the art of bargaining. I don't have the stamina or wit for it. I buy the fabric $15 less than ticket price, but I have a feeling the saleswoman would have dropped her price even more if I had hesitated a bit more. Oh well. I hope I wasn't ripped off too much.

One observation: The majority of housekeeping staff members in our luxury hotel are young men. Why is that?
Another observations: I have encountered more young men who speak English more fluently and comfortably than young women.

We have lunch at a far-out mall called Orchard Central. We find a Mos Burger there, a fast food, hamburger joint we adored in Japan. I have a Mos Cheeseburger, & Robby has a Spicy Mos Burger & Rice Ebi Burger. It isn't as good as I remember it. Here is Robby with the Mos Burger menu:

In the evening, we meet up with 14 other ICA convention-goers (mostly graduate students from USC Annenberg East & West) & walk to Carlton Hotel for a $5 shuttle to the Night Safari. We brave our way through Friday evening traffic. When we arrive to the Night Safari, we are immediately disappointed. The decor looks too much like Disneyland. Employees wear safari outfits, the entrance is decked with fake huts...Generic Polynesian percussion music blaring from the speakers. There are hundreds of tourists milling about, mostly families with rambunctious kids. Tickets are a hefty $22 with $10 for the tram ride. All of us graduate students grumble as we stand in line to buy tickets. Some of us have been traveling or will travel through other Southeast Asian countries & need our money to stretch a bit more. Atticus is tired & grumpy, but thankfully he sleeps through most of our trip through the Night Safari. We hop onto a long tram, & a guide sits at the front & explains the animal habitats on our route through the safari. The path is dark and dimly lit, & each habitat is softly lit with a tall lamp. Between us & the animals is a small, shallow stream. We see lions (between us is a large ditch), deer, rhinoceros, elephants, tigers, hippos, different kinds of hyenas, giant rats, giraffes, zebras, antelopes, mountain goats, the Southeast Asian version of the wart hog, etc. Halfway through the ride, we hop off & take the walking path. We see civets, large otters (hanging out on tree branches), clouded leopards (one stands on a branch staring at the lion across the way), leopards, flying squirrels (very large, fuzzy squirrels that could beat the crap out of our college campus squirrels), & smelly porcupines. Our most favorite experience of all is walking through the bat enclosure. In the dark, we find small bats hanging upside down from branches & flying silently past us from tree to tree. They are both cute & frightening looking, with their big eyes & rodent-like face & angular, skeletal wings & little claws. They hang from trees looking like dried leaves, squirming ornaments. On the netted ceiling of the enclosure are much larger bats that hang, large cocoon structures that make us think of science fiction aliens. No wonder these creatures evoke horror stories.

Keep in mind that we see all of these animals (except the lions, tigers, elephants, rhinoceros, & hippos) up close and personal. The bats & flying squirrels are an arm's length away, & though the leopard is behind glass, he stretches & sleeps just a few feet from us. Despite the cheesy amusement-park feeling, the Night Safari is worth the visit. This isn't meant to be ironic, but the animals, especially the bats, make it all worth it.

Did you know that Malay tigers can climb trees? Or that hippos can open their mouths up to 150 degrees wide? Or that hyenas' jaws have the strength of 1000 pounds?

Day Four: Wakeful Baby, Chinatown cuisine, Little India

2010-06-24T15:31:00.000-07:00

Last night was a rough one. Atticus went to sleep at 10:30pm without a fuss, but he woke up at 2, 4, 5, & 6am to feed. At 4 & 5am, he cried out & thrashed around. At 2 & 6am, he stirred whenever the pacifier fell out, so I decided to feed him anyway. He drank 3-4oz of milk for the first three feedings, then 1.5oz at 6am.

What's going on? How come he is constantly hungry?

Here we are giving Atticus a bath in the sink:

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This morning, we return to Chinatown via MRT (subway). Emerging from the Chinatown MRT, we find difficulty getting to the ground floor & end up carrying the baby + stroller down a long flight of stairs. We stroll along the shopping stalls, making our way to the Buddha Relic Tooth Temple & the Chinese Complex.

Lonely Planet is right: Chinatown does appear to have received a Disneyland makeover. The buildings are obviously old but newly painted on the outside with brightly colored shutters that cover seemingly fake windows. Despite the touristy appearance, there is an air of poverty in this neighborhood. Old Chinese people linger around public parks, trudge along alleyways carrying lots of bags, play Chinese chess in open-air squares. This Chinatown reminds me every Chinatown that I've been to - from San Francisco to Los Angeles to Montreal, Chicago, New York, & Boston. It is occupied by an older Cantonese-speaking generation & it looks like it might have been a lively community thriving on something other than tourism once a long time ago.

The Buddha Tooth Relic Temple looks innocuous from the outside. There's a small display with incense burning in front of it. When we walk past it & a sign that prohibits the wearing of sleeveless, bareback shirts & miniskirts (I cover up appropriately with a proffered shawl), we enter another small room with a golden bodhisattva & a beautiful red & white rug depicting a lotus flower. Beyond that is a large room with hundreds of Buddhas built into the walls. A huge, thin, sitting golden Buddha sits on one end of the room, & facing it are some orange-clad Buddhist monks & many people reading & chanting in unison. Each monk chants into a microphone, with a head monk sitting above & facing everyone, & each person in the congregation (most of them are old people) hold a book full of sutras, I think. They chant in Mandarin, as far as I can tell. The loud, deafening chant has a soothing quality to it, & the sound ebbs from soft to loud like steady breathing. It's very captivating.

The pedestrian street full of food stalls is closed during the day, so we meander along the small streets, looking at the generic Chinese souvenir shops. The alleys remind me of the LA fashion district, where each storefront is an awning with tables of wares - kitschy gold and red decorations, cheap t-shirts, silly magnets, etc. Robby is thirsty so we purchase a cup of grass jelly, apparently a very common drink here, & a cup of soya milo (chocolate soy milk), which tastes even more disgusting than Ovaltine. It's actually a Nestle product. We buy a few delicious pastries at a pastry shop: lau po bing, lotus seed bun,and a BBQ chicken pastry. They are fresh & piping hot. The outer crusts are not greasy but flaky and buttery.

Then we explore the China Complex & find a large hawker food court upstairs. Our first purchase is a failure; the stir-fried rice noodle with shrimp is limp, saucy, & overcooked. Our despair disappears when we buy a few cups of sugar cane juice, freshly squeezed by an old man using a large, strange juicing contraption. The juice is so refreshing and light that our spirits and energy are lifted. We wander the food court some more but are too hesitant to order any food after the gross noodles. We see many people eating from large plates of whole boiled or steamed fish. Some people are eating fish head stew. Pretty elaborate dishes for a simple food court.

The weather is considerably hot with the sun out. The baby is being pretty patient considering the lower half of his body is suffocating in a diaper. We stumble upon a Hindu temple called Sri Mariamman Temple, pay a small fee to get in, & wander around to look at the colorful statues of gods. Musicians playing loud percussion instruments perform at near the head of the altar, where tourists are prohibited. Thankfully, Atticus doesn't freak out from the clanging cymbals & thumping drum. Actually, he smiles as he looks around at the Hindu followers in colorful attire & make-up.

Later in the afternoon, we take the MRT to Little India, which is packed with Indian people. The streets busy & the sidewalks narrow. We find a large banyan tree on the corner of two streets & walk much of the length of Serangoon Road. I notice that many jewelry shops that sell gold are run by Chinese merchants. There are some glamour-shot studios & beauty salons that offer eyebrow threading. We are too tired & hungry to do the walking tour offered by the Lonely Planet guide, so we find a restaurant to sit and rest. Robby orders a rava masala dosa (spelled "dosai" on the menu), a chili crab masala, & a salty lassi, while I order a masala dosa, plain paratha, & mango lassi. The food is outstanding. I have never had a paratha before, & I fall in love with the texture and taste of it. It is a bread that is spun & stretched to a thin layer, covered in oil, & folded over & placed on a grill. The result is a bread that is both chewy & crunchy.

I'm glad we finally hit up both Chinatown & Little India. Chinatown is definitely more touristy with its brightly painted buildings & souvenir shops (not unlike the ones in San Francisco Chinatown). The facade of Chinatown hardly hides its poverty. We heard that Little India is filled with itinerant workers, but I don't think I saw any today. Little India feels more like a community where Indian Singaporeans reside, not a tourist trap. I'm very happy about our exploration of Sinaporean food. I'm glad to leave the business district for better meals.

Hindu souvenirs

Where are all the mixed children?

2010-06-23T08:16:00.000-07:00

Atticus gets lots of stares here. Robby & I get lots of stares as well.

This confuses me. Singapore is a mecca of Asian, South Asian, & Southeast Asian cultures. Singaporeans learn English at school, but they also pick up several other languages in school and at home. Many of their families have been here for generations, not like the United States, where most Asian Americans are first immigrants or second generation offspring. There doesn't seem to be a clear indigenous group here, unless it's the Malays. It's just a panoply of Asian cultures. Yet, we see very few interracial or interethnic couples. We see exclusively Chinese couples, exclusively Indian couples, etc. We have yet to see an interethnic couple.

Where are they? Is it taboo?

It occurs to me that perhaps people from ethnic groups seek out one another because they speak the same home language. If I speak Mandarin in my community, why date someone who speaks Hindi?

Nonetheless, this issue baffles me. I will have to find someone to ask...

Oh, Atticus gets stared at ALL the time. I am almost afraid that one moment I'll look away & look back to find him gone, kidnapped by an eager Singaporean woman who has been smiling at him in the subway. I know, I sound paranoid. I'm not used to being in a culture where people love children & babies so much. In America, we can express interest in strangers' children, but we always maintain a clear aloofness so as not to appear suspicious. Locals here like to smile at him, sometime tap his blanket or his hand. They show a real genuine interest in interacting with him. I like that.

Day Three: Atticus Got the Crabs in Singapore

2010-06-23T08:03:00.000-07:00

Tonight, we meet up with Robby's colleague and head to Chinatown. We stumble upon a busy pedestrian alleyway filled with restaurants on one side & food stalls on the other, with tables on the street. Finally, some food outside of the business district!

We start with a snack of satay (chicken, pork, & mutton). They are 60 and 70 cents apiece & they are very small - only two pieces of meat on each skewer. Skimpy, if you ask me. The peanut sauce is delicious, a dark brown sauce with peanut chunks...not at all like the smooth peanut butter consistency we get in the states. I could be very happy just pouring it over rice & gobbling it up.

Then we find another stall with black pepper crab for $19 a piece. We hear that the black pepper crab is better than Singapore's famous chili crab. We order a plate of two, along with a plate of ong greens (sauteed with lots of garlic & a jalapeno), grilled shrimp (with big heads & little but fleshy bodies), a fried egg pancake with onions, & a version of what we in America call Singaporean noodles, stir fried, thin egg noodles with little shrimp, scallions, onions, & a curry flavor. All of it is DELICIOUS.

(Insert pictures here)

I have difficulty with the crab, which is not fun at all to eat. None of these restaurants provide napkins, so our hands are sticky & smelly. Sometimes, I doubt that the adventure eating any crab is worth all the work. But the flavoring is delicious (garlic & pepper), & we have fun cracking the shell open with a pair of walnut cracking tools. In fact, I have so much trouble with the tool that I crack one & the shell & crab flesh sprays everywhere around me. The largest piece hits the top of Atticus's head. He is sleeping so soundly that he barely stirs. I watch a few passers-by smirk, then commence to pick the big black peppercorns out of his hair. Boy, is Atticus a good sport...

The food is absolutely delicious. The three of us ate for $75, probably pricey in this touristy area, but we're happy to experience Chinatown if only for a few hours.

Day Three: Self-Presence, Robots, & Mall Food

2010-06-23T00:35:00.000-07:00

This morning we wake up extra early to get ready for Robby's talk at 8:30am. Because I had dragged Atticus on our 5-hour excursion yesterday & because Robby dragged the both of us to the opening social event of the ICA (International Communication Association) Conference in the evening, he was wiped out by bedtime and slept 6 hours straight.

We head to the food court on the first floor of the Sun-Tec Convention Center. It's called Food Republic & it has regional ethnic foods behind glass counters. We try some soy milk, a curry puff, a sesame ball, & some more dim sum (siu mai, ha gao, & bbq pork pastries).

YUM.

It's the type of dim sum one can find in Los Angeles but SOOOO much better! The flavors are different & subtle, & overall the dim sum is less greasy than what we get in California. The soy milk has real soy flavor because it hasn't been watered down. The curry puff is spicy with a distinct curry flavor & a flaky crust on the outside. The sesame ball - Robby's favorite dim sum dish - is filled with red bean paste with bits of peanuts mixed in. The siu mai is topped with salmon roe. Mmmmm. If the dim sum in this generic food court is good, imagine how delectable it must be on the street! in Chinatown!!

Robby is the first to give his talk, which focuses on this dissertation topic of self-presence. It goes over well. He even manages to include Atticus at the end of his talk. I hand him over to Robby like a trophy while he stares blankly at the audience. Since there is no one to chair the talk, in which 4 presenters share their papers, Robby happily takes on the role of a pseudo-moderator. People trickle in through the hour, & the presenters receive some helpful input from the audience members.

After Robby's talk, we wander upstairs to watch another convention going on called Robocup, an international robotics soccer competition. High school, college, and graduate students convene to do battle. Battle their robots on mini soccer fields, that is. Boy, this convention sure beats Robby's ICA Conference! Different kinds of robots compete with each other on a small artificial green field and an orange ball the size of a golf ball. The two teams of programmers sit on either end of the field with their numerous laptops, looking nervously as their robots shuffle toward the ball. Occasionally, a team member will switch out a fallen robot with another. When I say "shuffle", I really mean shuffle. These are not robots sprinting & dodging & jumping. These are ponderous, lumbering, clunky robots whose feet barely leave the ground. They really do shuffle slowly toward the still ball. There are rarely simultaneously moving robots on the field. Most of the time one to three robots are moving on the field at the same time. Some robots approach the ball, turn their heads left & right, the gingerly kick the ball. These are the somewhat anthropomorphic robots. There are also cube-like robots that spun and rolled on little wheels. At these games, there are about 8 of them on the field, & they dart around like those popular little hamsters (Zhu Zhu) that little girls play with nowadays.

Robocup is awesome. I am a little embarrassed that Robby & I giggle at how cute the robots are & cackle whenever one falls over or kicks the ball. I'm sure the programmers work very long and hard on their masterpieces. But it is pretty hilarious.

In the late morning, Atticus & I nap. Then we have a late lunch with one of Robby's former professors. We decide to go somewhere close by, so we opt for the Marina Market (mall) adjacent to the hotel & convention center. We decide on Thai. All I have to say about mall food is... YUCK. Granted, it's better than anything we'd eat in an American mall (hands down), but it's nothing special. The Thai iced tea in California is better. The real deal. You can see the condensed milk sinking into a rich burnt caramel-colored tea. Here, at the mall, it was a pre-made concoction that consisted mostly of ice and water. & the food was spicy with no distinguishing flavors. Very disappointing.

So, I've made a new rule about the rest of our stay here in Singapore: NO MALL FOOD ALLOWED.

Keep in mind, we are in the business/financial district of Singapore. We can't find street food here because we are surrounded by spotless streets, enormous hotels, & shiny malls. We have to venture out of the Colonial District (business center) in order to find better food, I think.

Day Two: Subway mazes & Asian Civilizations Museum

2010-06-22T02:56:00.000-07:00

Today, Robby left us to go to his doctoral consortium workshop at Nanyang University in the far east side of Singapore. Atticus & I took a 5-hour excursion to the Asian Civilizations Museum. Through the Sun-Tec Convention Center, we walked through an underground mall to the City Hall MRT station. There were plenty of elevators in the MRT station, but through the underground mall, I had to prop up the stroller many times to get up & down escalators. That was tiring! The City Hall station seemed far from our hotel, & the underground mall was just a maze of bakeries, cafes, & women's clothing and make-up stores.

From the City Hall MRT station we went towards Marina Bay & got off at the next stop, Raffles Place. The Asian Civilizations Museum was right across the water. Atticus was not too eager to get started on the exhibit. He fussed around until he reminded me that I was hungry for lunch, so we went directly to the museum cafe & had a light lunch.

The museum ($8 for adults) was a comprehensive and informational museum on the Asian ethnic groups that occupy Southeast Asian, from the Dayaks of Borneo to the Mughals of India to the principles of Chinese societies to the 5 pillars of Islam. Each ethnic group was represented in a gallery full of artifacts, clothing, jewelry, & interactive free-standing television screens where the busts of individuals from each group would answer questions through a video. Their head was as big as the screen itself. When no one was watching these screens, the faces of the guides would appear idly singing or murmuring or looking around. That was a little spooky.

I wish I had more time with each exhibit in the museum. With the baby, I felt constantly pressed for time. Instead of slowly reading each display, I wandered from one to another, hoping that the moving stroller would please him. On the whole, he was very well behaved considering he had sat in the stroller for all 5 hours.

Did you know that "tet" in vietnamese means the node between the segments of bamboo? It symbolizes the changes of seasons. & did you know that there is an indigenous tribe in borneo that has a headhunting tradition?

Okay, that's all I remember!

In the photo above, Atticus wears a turban from the Indian Gallery.

Surviving the Tropics

2010-06-21T18:03:00.000-07:00

Fortunately, it is a cloudy day today. Nonetheless, the humidity in Singapore is nearly unbearable. We are standing at an intersection on our way to Bugis Street & when I look over at Robby he looks as if he has taken a shower with his clothes on. Being outside is like being inside. As we are walking down a sidewalk, I am expecting to walk through a set of double doors into the outdoors, expecting to feel a cool breeze on my skin. But I look around at the tropical foliage along the street & remember that we are outdoors. I look up at the dark sky & think of Disneyland's Pirates of the Caribbean ride, where you are made to feel as if you are in the outdoor mugginess of the Bayou, but you are really indoors with small white lights on the ceiling as stars.

It's disconcerting to exit into heat & enter into AC-filled malls & hallways. But it's nice that the AC in communal areas - hotel lobbies, some malls - are turned down a bit so that they conserve a little more energy & we aren't constantly blasted by cold every time we walk indoors. Still, so much energy is used keeping the indoors pleasantly cool.

Day One: Arrival, Bugis Street, & Clark Quay

2010-06-21T15:48:00.000-07:00

We sleep in today then head to the Concierge to pick up a map & some tips about navigating through Singapore. Everyone tells us to take a cab wherever we're going. They just can't fathom walking through the city with a stroller & a baby. Plus, the air outside is muggy & the roads a little confusing.

We decide to walk to Bugis Street, a shopping area visited by the locals. No name brands, just lots of little stalls & covered alleyways, very must like the LA Fashion District, but covered like the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul. En route we encounter our first obstacle when we exit the hotel & try to cross a street that is fenced off. There aren't any pedestrian crosswalks at the intersection, but there is a pedestrian overpass. Sweaty & smelling ourselves, we almost resort to hailing cab, but instead we lug the stroller up the flight of stairs, push it across the overpass, then carry it down the stairs.

Bugis Street is worth visiting. There are lots of stalls selling women's clothing, but we're hoping to explore and find more the next time we visit. All the women in the stalls would gasp & smile at Atticus. Singaporeans love babies and children. It's wonderful to see how easy they are interacting with Atticus. We haven't seen many babies around at all. Where are they?

We leave Bugis Street and happen upon Illumina, a shopping mall next door. We change a diaper, lug the stroller + baby upstairs to the arcade, then back down to another overpass to Bugis Junction, a covered outdoor shopping center.

Malls are everywhere in Singapore. A mall is attached to every subway station. They are adjacent and connected to one another, so it's easy to get from one to another without stepping outside. Shopping is a common Singaporean pastime. Plus, many restaurants reside in these malls, so many people come to malls to eat. The price of clothing is pretty reasonable too. I see lots of signs for 50% off and $10 t-shirts.

After a 3-hour nap in the hotel room, we head back out to Clark Quay (pronounced "key"), where many touristy restaurants line the waterfront. We are looking for a restaurant called Coriander Leaf, which is recommended by the Lonely Planet guidebook. Oh, that is mistake #1. The guidebook claims that entrees are $15-20, but we find out that they are $30-35, out of our price range. We're looking for cheap, good food, not fake fusion & pretentious ambiance. We get enough of that (fake fusion & pretentious ambiance) in Los Angeles. We wander around Clark Quay some more. See some single women walking about & wonder if they are prostitutes. Watch people watching the Portugal vs. North Korea World Cup game. Walk by a fancy Burger King with a bar. Finally, Joe calls & we catch a cab back to the Marina Square shopping mall. We walk around a bit, all three of us starving. We notice that the few Chinese restaurants are busy & filled with Chinese people, while the Thai restaurant & noodle shop are empty. The sushi restaurant is empty too except a few tourist families.

We meet Joe at a seafood restaurant called Fin. I order a soft shell crab over baked rice (with cheese) & Robby orders a pan-fried fish. Pretty good, though not so impressive that we would return. The food is certainly displayed well & tastes hearty, but it's nothing unusual. Worth $15? We're not sure.

What we're looking forward to the most in Singapore are the hawker food stalls & the Night Zoo. We have to go to Chinatown, Little India & Kampong Glam (Arab Street) for the good food, we think.

We go to bed at 11pm, but Atticus wakes up at 2am & doesn't get back to sleep until 4:30am. His body is still on Pacific Standard Time. Then we wake up a 6am, go down for breakfast, & Atticus & I send Robby off to his all-day consortium workshop. Oops, I'm already into Day 2!

En Route to Singapore

2010-06-21T15:15:00.000-07:00

Our flight to Singapore was long & tiring but luckily uneventful.

We left LAX at 3pm, & armed with 2 bottles of breast milk, 3 changes of clothing, and 16 diapers, we boarded Singapore Airlines flight SQ 11 to Singapore with an hours layover in Tokyo at Narita Airport. We were fortunate to book early enough to reserve bulkhead seats, & the flight attendants set up a small bassinet against the wall under the projector screen. There were 9 other babies on board with bassinet, & not everyone with babies were able to receive one. Most of the families were either Japanese, Chinese, or Indian. We got some shifty looks from the older Indian couples & some polite little nods from the Japanese couples. The flight attendants were very helpful with warming up bottles & serving meals at our convenience. The female flight attendants were especially friendly with Atticus.

Baby Boy was extremely well-behaved on the entire flight. The most difficult moment was the descent into Narita Airport, when he was crying for milk & his ears were probably plugged like mine. I had never felt so much pain from plugged ears before - it was pretty annoying, especially since the descent lasted so long.

The flight from LAX to Narita Airport was 10 hours, then another 6 hours to Singapore. Total travel time was 23 hours. We emerged from the plane & arrived to Singapore exhausted & disheveled but excited. We checked into the Pan-Pacific Hotel at 1am.

The Pan-Pacific is the most luxurious hotel we've ever stayed...bell hops, elevators lined with white lights, modern-looking furniture in the enormous lobby, king-sized bed...wow! & we're very close to Robby's conference at the Sun-Tec Convention Centre. We were even provided a little wooden crib for Atticus to sleep in. & we have a balcony with a chaise lounge chair & a view of the Esplanade & Marina Casino.

This is the interior of our hotel.

Breakfast the same morning was a gigantic buffet filled with different kinds of foods - Shanghainese dimsum (lobster dumplings), Singaporean noodles, fresh fruit juices, freshly made noodle soup, brioche & green tea donuts, rice porridge (they call it "congee" here), & the regular American stuff, like pancakes, waffles, & bagels. It's quite a spread. I paced myself & felt sufficiently full after trying a few things, but Robby ate himself silly & felt sick afterwards.

We're living large in Singapore. We figured we should not skimp on our lodgings with a baby on our hands.

What to Bring with Baby

2010-06-20T01:00:00.000-07:00

Babies travel with a lot of stuff. Somehow, I managed to fit both Atticus and my belongings in a roller carry-on, but Robby also packed some of Atticus's things in his bag. I didn't want to be a neurotic, over-prepared parent, but I didn't want to have to buy too many baby items in Singapore either.

Here is a laundry list of baby things we brought:

- 106 diapers (He uses 10-12/day, so this was plenty for our 7-day trip. I brought 16 diapers on our 16-hour flight [though it was 23 hours including waiting at the airports], but he only used about 5.)
- a package of diaper wipes
- 2 glass bottles to drink from
- 3 plastic bottles to store milk (I haven't used them yet)
- two hand pumps (one is still unused)
- bottle brush & small sponge for washing bottles
- receiving blankets
- diaper cloths
- a few muslin wraps (good for multiple uses, like blocking out sunlight, swaddling, covering, etc.)
- burp cloths
- one swaddle
- 8 onesies (very useful in this hot climate)
- 4 sleepers (We heard that the indoors can get very cold)
- 2 long-sleeved onesies
- 3 pairs of pants
- 15 bibs (Very useful because he drools a lot, sometimes so much that his onesie underneath is soaked)
- 4 pacifiers
- a lovie (A small, soft blanket with a hippo's head attached to one corner. This is used for bedtime snuggling.)
- diaper cream
- baby powder
- baby soap
- baby blanket
- nail clippers
- baby Benadryl
- baby Tylenol
- thermometer
- baby sunblock (Oops, we forgot this at home!)
- nursing apron
- stroller
- infant car seat (just so we have a place to put him)
- diaper bag

Don't babies come with a lot of stuff?

Closing and Beginning

2010-06-17T22:48:00.000-07:00

Tonight I finished my last class of Research and Practice in the Preparation of Teachers at USC. I presented twice tonight & turned in my final paper on multicultural teacher education.

In a few weeks, I start a statistics course for another 6 weeks...

Atticus turns 4 months on Monday. He has changed a lot from 3 to 4 months. He is more deliberate in his behavior - not that he is manipulative or deceptive, but he knows that crying will elicit a response from us. He had a mild case of thrush a few weeks ago, & I'm hoping the white spots on his tongue are not residual signs of that. He loves to feel the texture of things, and he is more deliberate in the motor skills in his hands. He'll lie under the play mat and gingerly tap the hanging animals. Pretty soon, he'll be tugging on them! He also likes to hold our hands when we put him to bed. Sometimes he will put my hand against his face. He also does this with his lovie (a little blanket with a stuffed animal head attached to one corner).

Atticus has decidedly chosen bottle over breast, which saddens & frustrates me. I'm tired of pumping and washing bottles constantly. I've been told that it's very difficult to coax a 4-month-old baby back to the breast. I should be ashamed of myself. I haven't been working, so he shouldn't have been using bottles in the first place.

We're flying to Singapore in a few days, so Atticus's determination to refuse the breast makes our lives more tedious. We'll just have to manage.

Last night, we sat him in the Bumbo chair for the first time & fed him rice cereal. He seemed to like the spoon. We'll try to make a habit out of feeding him rice cereal now.

Oh, & Atticus now laugh WITH us. If he's in a good mood, he will laugh in short bursts without having been tickled. We love it. We can't get enough of his noises, except crying.

I'll be teaching at a public charter school in South Central Los Angeles this fall. I'm very excited. More to come later...

Robby's gift to Atticus & his future siblings

2010-06-05T15:05:00.000-07:00

Robby just completed a rap video for our son Atticus & any future baby(ies). It is called the "The 10 Kid Commandments", & it's based on Biggie's song "Ten Crack Commandments." Instead of Biggie's 10 lessons about dealing crack, Robby's songs consists of 10 life lessons.

Please watch the video on Atticus's website. The website includes the lyrics.

Or, you can watch it here:

Enjoy!

Okay, I was wrong...

2010-06-05T14:07:00.001-07:00

Atticus does not begin talking after we stop talking.

When I read to him, he loves talking over my voice. He doesn't respond to the words, but he loves the pictures.

We've also found that Atticus likes to watch television. Oh oh. He takes after his mother. We don't own a television, so when he spots one, he is completely mesmerized.

Pardon me, but we've got a baby with manners...

2010-05-28T07:39:00.000-07:00

Continuing with his discovery of his hands, Atticus now prefers sucking on his fist instead of his chuppie, what our neighbor calls pacifier (It's Spanish & such a cute word that I have to start using it). He sticks about half of it into his little mouth and slowly gnaws. At first, watching him do this is a little disconcerting because he looks like he is trying to stuff his entire fist into his mouth. But, no, he is just looking to suckle.

Robby & I have also caught him staring as his hand as he touches the wall next to the changing pad. He also tends to touch the bottoms of his feet together when we change his diaper.

Atticus also pays more attention when I read to him. I like to read to him in bed because he'll often fall asleep after a few board books. Yesterday, as I reached the end of The Hungry Caterpillar, he started jabbering away. I put the book down, gave him a kiss, & got out of bed as he stared out of the window. When I returned 5 minutes later, he was fast asleep. This boy loves naps.

Best of all, our boy has manners! Robby remarked on Atticus polite demeanor last night when he described their conversation: "He always waits for you to stop talking before he starts. Did you notice that?" This is how we're able to converse with Atticus; we talk back and forth. He doesn't always emit sound, but he tries. Who knew he'd turn out so polite?!

I have hands? Where did they come from?

2010-05-21T09:09:00.000-07:00

Atticus has recently discovered his left hand.

We were walking through my favorite paper store, Papersource, in Palo Alto, when Robby noticed that while Atticus sat in his car seat, he was staring at his hand under a blanket. He was moving it back and forth slowly & following his hand with his eyes.

Wow.

This morning, as we lay in bed, he stared intently at our hands. I was holding his left hand about 5 inches from his face, & we both watched his little pudgy fingers grasp my palm.

Atticus is also learning how to blow raspberries. I don't know where this term comes from - I just heard it for the first time last week. He blows his lips out and makes a sound like a motor. Our raspberries will shush him. When he pouts, he blows them unintentionally.

We love our starfish!

Bath Time

2010-05-11T00:16:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I dared to give Atticus a bath by myself. Usually, Robby & I tag-team.

Atticus had woken up from a two-and-a-half hour nap, fed, and sat happily in bed smiling at me. I gingerly placed him on the bathroom counter & slowly took his sleeper & onesie off while talking to him animatedly. I tickled his belly, then carefully lowered him into the hammock of the baby bathtub. Instead of running water straight into his bathtub, we usually place a large bowl under the faucet & pour water over him from a cup. He was still staring intently at me when I turned the faucet on. We heard a sputtering in the pipes & a deluge of cold water suddenly shot our of the shower head. In a state of shock, Atticus froze then shrieked loudly. His face immediately turned beet red. I was as shocked as he was, and when I saw his little body wet and cold, I picked him up and hugged him until he settled down.

Luckily, Atticus does not begrudge us of our duties. He let me bathe him after a few minutes of consolation. I'm surprised that he even let us put him back into the bathtub so quickly after that brief traumatic incident.

Mothers of the World, Unite!

2010-05-09T21:41:00.000-07:00

This year, Mother's Day has taken on a whole new meaning for me. Today, I woke up feeling exponentially special because I'd be celebrating my first year as a mother.

My first gift was a spectacular nighttime surprise: Atticus slept ELEVEN hours for the first time. Previously, the longest he had slept in one nighttime stretch was eight hours, already an astounding feat for a 2-month-old baby. The second gift: Even after such a long sleep, he did not leak out of his diaper. Phew! Needless to say, we had the most pleasant morning.

I called the mothers in my family to wish them a happy mother's day. I was especially appreciative of my sisters. One has three children (7, 4, & 2) and the other has two babies. One sister bakes cakes from scratch, assembles bento boxes for her kids' lunches, and drives the eldest daughter to 6 extracurricular activities every week. The other sister gives her babies lavender baths, wakes up 4 times a night, and goes to mother support groups after work. I have a new-found amazement for the efforts and accomplishments of mothers. A part of me wants to be a lazy mother, to do the minimal possible for what it takes to be a "good" mother, just so that I can maintain my own independence and identity. I know it sounds selfish, but when I think of child rearing, the only word that comes to mind is "tethered." I won't be making bento boxes for Atticus, but I will find my own way of showing my love and keeping my sanity.

Today felt like Christmas.

Robby gave me a card from both Atticus and himself. He held a pen in Atticus's hand & wrote a short, messy note. In his card, he called me the hub of the family and Atticus & he the spokes in the wheel. He went further: most importantly, the wheel was greased with breast milk. I love Robby's cards - he makes the funniest analogies and metaphors.

So happy mother's day to all the mothers in the world. We carry the future in our bellies, pop them out in excruciatingly painful ways, feed them around the clock, scrub yellow poop from their clothes (Robby draws the line here, so it's a Mommy duty), send them off to school, and learn to let go of them. Sometimes, thinking about it all makes me sad - the letting go part of raising a child - but that's just the way of life, I guess, like the inevitability of death and loss.

For now, I'm going to enjoy every moment I get to press heads and cuddle with Atticus until he pulls away and becomes his own person.

All smiles

2010-05-07T23:08:00.000-07:00

Atticus is a big smiler. When he is well-rested and well-fed, he will smile at anyone. His big toothless grin masks the acrid poopy smell lingering from the trashcan, the achy-ness we feel in our necks and shoulders from carrying him... All of the unpleasantness that comes with baby-raising dissolves when he smiles, kicks his legs in the air, and throws a mudra with his fingers. Tonight, he slept on Robby with his middle finger sticking out. I don't think that's a mudra.

He also goes through a long period of stretching after being released from the swaddle or the car seat. He arches his back, then extends his legs and arms at the same time.

Why are babies so cute?
I think that the strange proportion of their body parts attribute to their cuteness. First, his arms fully extended barely reach over his head. Second, the length his head from top to chin is about a third of the length from his neck to his toes. Therefore, he's got a BIG head. Good for television, I've heard. Big-headed people always look better on TV. Lastly, he's chubby. How can we not gush at pudgy toes and fingers?

My mom always comments on how his face seems to grow horizontally. When he was smaller, his face would get wider and wider. When he sleeps, his face is all lines - his eyes, his mouth, his little pig nose.

Oh, the review for the new movie Babies is out. I love the movie critic A.O. Scott. I always prefer reading his reviews over watching most movies themselves. The worse the movie, the more acerbic his review, which makes for entertaining reading. He gives it an okay review. What isn't there to love about babies? There doesn't even need to be any subtitles for the four families from different countries. Here's the trailer if you won't end up seeing the movie. It's very CUTE.

We've got a sleeper!

2010-05-01T08:22:00.000-07:00

Robby & I are such lucky parents to have a 2-month-old baby who sleeps 5+ hours a night. A few nights, he has even slept 8 hours! No, I'm not feeding the child Benadryl. All he drinks is breast milk. We are so grateful to have a baby who sleeps & fusses only when he has important needs to be met, like hunger, gas, over-tiredness, or a dirty diaper.

Atticus has an abundance of smiles to give us. He smiles as if he hasn't seen us in ages. & when he sticks his chin out and gives a toothless smile, I forget about the hassle of breastfeeding and changing poopy diapers.

Robby thinks that he will be an actor because he has some special & distinct qualities. He...
- can lift his eyebrows independently of one another,
- has dimples,
- looks ambiguous in his multiple ethnicities,
- has two swirls on the back of his head (hair is easy to comb into a mohawk), and
- is extremely handsome.
Plus, there is a kids' acting school next door to our apartment.

It's LA...We're allowed to dream!

An Infectious Posting

2010-04-24T07:29:00.000-07:00

Wonderful news. Atticus has started sleeping 5 hours during the night. Whew! We hope he keeps it up.

But he has been fussy for the past few days, & Robby & I chocked it up to bad behavior. How can a 2-month-old acquire bad behavior? Well, I figured that he learned that crying loudly = getting picked up, so he kept fussing so that we wouldn't put him down. Babies are smarter than we think they are!

With all that crying, Atticus started getting mucus in his eyes, & the whites of eyes were turning pink. Something wasn't right. Was this caused by too much crying or something else?

This time, we were wrong. He wasn't exhibiting bad behavior. I took him to the pediatrician yesterday. The diagnosis: PINK EYE. CONJUNCTIVITIS.

Poor guy. I feel guilty for faulting his behavior when it was merely a symptom of his health problem. Bad mom.

Since I started giving him the eye drops, he has been much happier. He smiled all night before going to bed. His favorite spot is the changing table, where he stares and smiles at the butterfly mobile that hangs from the ceiling. He'll smile even when he wants to cry. Smiling toothless babies are adorable!

Last night, he slept for SEVEN hours! We know that this habit won't last, but we're going to savor ever extra hour of sleep that he gives us.

I'm already starting to miss his former infant self. Babies develop so rapidly. I'll be sad when he loses the chubbiness in his little fingers, his taut cheeks, and toothless grin.

So much work!

2010-04-22T16:12:00.001-07:00

Taking care of a baby is so much work!

Robby & I have been exhausted from taking care of Atticus, who isn't even a high-maintenance baby. He's actually a pretty normal baby. His needs are easily interpreted. When he cries, he is either gassy, hungry, or tired. He occasionally smiles, which will melt anyone's heart. Thank goodness he isn't colicky. He never spits up milk. But we are exhausted from his sleep schedule, which is still pretty normal. He sleeps 3-5 hours at a time.

For the last two days, he has been inconsolable. He burped & spit up more than usual & would cry each time we tried to put him down to sleep. Robby found out on the Internet that his green, foamy poop was an indication of foremilk-hindmilk imbalance. Now that we've figured that out, we've changed his feeding style. It's worked so far today. Who knows? We haven't reached his nightly fussy period yet (6-11pm).

It has been only two months and we don't remember a time when we had energy. Last night, Robby said, "When is our life going to get back to normal?" I replied, "This IS normal!" He meant pre-baby normal, but we're never going to get back pre-baby normal.

The boy is cute, though. Especially when he is lying on the changing table smiling at the butterfly mobile hanging on the ceiling. Or when he emit gurgling and cooing noises. Or when he wakes up in the morning and smiles a toothless smile at us. Or when he stretches his arms & legs after being swaddled all night. Or when he tucks his head into my neck and curls up against my chest after a full feeding.

Who does Atticus look more like?

2010-03-29T12:47:00.000-07:00

Jeanne or Robby?

Lucky us, we've got ourselves a sleeper!

2010-03-12T10:20:00.000-08:00

Today, Atticus is 18 days old.

Occasionally, he sleeps 5 hours during the night. Last night, my grandmother & some family friends came over for dinner, & Atticus was awake for most of the evening. He just refused to go to bed. My grandmother insisted that he was hungry, so we kept feeding him. He fed from me three times and took a bottle twice. In total, he probably ate at least 4 ounces. So last night, he slept for SEVEN hours! I had to get up in the middle of the night to pump, but sleep for us was a dream last night. I'm glad Robby got some rest. He is usually more tired from interrupted sleep, & today he had to go to campus to teach his sections. When Atticus woke up at 5am, he ate another 30 minutes & slept for another 3 hours.

This boy is so pleasant & mellow. When he has a dirty diaper, he doesn't cry at all. He silently looks around & waits for us to smell his poopy diaper from afar. When he can't sleep, he lies back and looks around without complaint. He doesn't crave the pacifier, though it does soothe him to sleep. & when he wakes up, he whines & squirms for a good 10 minutes before letting out his first cry.

Lucky us.

Atticus: The Eating Machine

2010-03-10T09:24:00.001-08:00

I'm relieved that breastfeeding is working out, but I have to say that the whole breastfeeding issue is misleading. When the baby suckles & it hurts, the lactation nurse says, "Don't worry, he's latching incorrectly. It should hurt. You should feel a pull instead of a pinch. & you shouldn't hear the clicking sound."

Atticus latches well & he has a powerful suck (the nurses' words, not mine), but breastfeeding still hurts! It's hard to bond with him when I'm cringing in pain. Some mothers tell me that I'll get used to it. One mother said it took her several months to get accustomed to breastfeeding. Now I understand why, though 70% of new mothers breastfeed in the hospital, only 30% continue after 3 months. Don't quote me on that, but I think I read that somewhere.

So, I've concluded that nurses downplay the pain of breastfeeding in order to emphasize the importance of it. Granted, every woman has a different experience with breastfeeding. It doesn't hurt for every woman. But I just can't get over that they don't WARN you how much it hurts.

Early motherhood is not all roses & daisies.

The Visitors Arrive

2010-03-04T18:49:00.000-08:00

Now begins the onslaught of aunties and uncles who come bearing red envelopes and parenting advice.
"Why is his head drooping? You're not supporting his neck!"
"Don't go to him when he cries. Just let him cry. It's good for his health!"
"Oh, he's a naughty one. He knows when he's being carried. See how quiet he is now that I'm holding him?"
"Put him in the bouncy here (in the kitchen). He should be around noise and activity."
"He's too cold. He needs a blanket."
"He's too warm. He doesn't need all those blankets."
"Feed him water if you don't have enough milk."
"His name is so complicated! I'm going to call him 'bao bao' (precious)."

My aunties kept exclaiming how "clean" his face was (in Chinese). I guess they meant that his face was clear of blemishes & marks.

Auntie Helena discovered that he has two swirls on the back of his head. Just like his mother! She says that it means that he will be good to his parents (filial piety & all that). When my grandpa found that the part in my hair was shaped like a "Y", he predicted that I would turn out to be naughty. My mom said that Atticus's large nostrils meant that he would be a big spender. I don't know how much stock they put into these Chinese superstitions, but they're fun to listen to.

They all remarked how much Atticus looks like Robby. My mom noted that "Atticus" is misspelled because it gets the red squigly line in Microsoft Word.

More relatives arriving tonight. & I am ready to eat my pigs' feet stew with ginger - a traditional Chinese stew for recovering new mothers.

Hello, World!

2010-03-01T12:37:00.000-08:00

Atticus Halcyon Loh-Ratan
Born: February 22, 2010, at 2pm.
Where: Cedar-Sinai Hospital, Beverly Hills (but we'd rather tell him he was born in Los Angeles)
Weight: 6lbs, 14oz
Length: 20.7 inches
Appearance: East Asian in the face, but South Asian in the hair (on the forehead, back, arms, & ears)
Social security number: ###-##-####(just kidding!)

Honestly, Robby & I have had numerous discussions about the extent to which we share Atticus's life on the Internet. We have no qualms about sharing our own lives through this blog & through Facebook. But I think my caution is warranted. Robby likes to argue that nothing is private anymore, but I disagree. We can oftentimes choose what we make public. I ask myself if I would have liked my parents to maintain an public blog about my babyhood and childhood, & I'd have to say NO. All I think of is vulnerable exposure of Truman in The Truman Show.

I have had one bad experience with blogs before, one in which I've vowed never to maintain one. Ironically, Robby, who prides himself in his knowledge of human behavior & computers, has convinced me that tools such as blogs are not inherently evil. We began this blog to offer pre-wedding information to friends & family. Then it turned into a travel blog when we spent a 5-week honeymoon in Turkey. Now, this blog serves mainly to inform our friends & family who live abroad (particularly Oma & Opa in Germany) & out of town. Nonetheless, information that emitted into cyberspace can be accessed by anyone, so I am constantly conscious of what I share (nothing too personal that I may regret later). Writing can be a catharsis, but writing for a public audience on the Internet should not be, I think.

Now that I've stepped off my soap box, let me introduce Atticus.
There isn't much to say except that he is currently one week old. We are so fortunate that he is not a colicky baby. He is very well-tempered and so cute. We are fascinated by him. He recognized my voice from Day One, and he knows when I am carrying him (because he wakes up or cries when Robby carries him). He loves to sleep on my chest at night, though I try not to keep him there for long. There something strangely uncanny to our intangible connection. I think that my body is too exhausted, stretched, and pulled to acknowledge this connection, but Atticus has shown time & time again that he knows me more than he knows anyone else. What a way to feel special!

More to come...

The bun is fully baked & out of the oven

2010-03-01T08:28:00.000-08:00

We give a big, warm hello to the long-awaited addition to our family: Atticus Halcyon Loh-Ratan.

Yes, his name is a mouthful - maybe typical of the ambitious names that new parents give their first babies. Atticus was my idea. I've always wanted to name my child after a literary character, & Atticus is as noble as they come. As cheesy as it sounds, I have taught To Kill a Mockingbird for 8 years, & I still learn something new every time I reread it. I tell this to my tenth graders, and they roll their eyes with sarcasm.

Baby is still incubating

2010-02-20T12:20:00.000-08:00

I look like I'm ready to pop, but the baby is not ready to greet the real world yet.
My due date is coming up in 3 days. Yesterday, I naively asked the doctor, "So, is this my last visit to you before the baby comes?" She laughed and said, "No, you will actually be seeing me more if the baby hasn't arrived by Tuesday." She is worried by the low level of amniotic fluid in the placenta. Because it's not producing enough urine, the baby may experience stress. This would be cause for inducing labor. I will go back into doctor's on Monday & she will recheck my amniotic fluid. The levels of amniotic fluid have nothing to do with the amount of my liquid intake. It's just physiological, natural.

Induction may begin on Monday!

Robby & I both wrote letters to the baby yesterday. We exchanged our letters, read them, & discovered that they were very different. Robby's was much more humorous than mine. We got a little teary eyed, then sealed and dated the letter. This baby will be smothered in so much love.

We're still juggling a few possible names. Baby books are an impediment to our brainstorming, actually. We are too unconventional to either choose a traditional name or to choose an exotic cultural name that has no significance to our culture or life journey.

Jeanne got tired of losing

2010-02-15T21:03:00.000-08:00

Instead of watching our two movie rentals, Mulholland Drive and The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly (both of which are over 2.5 hours long), we decided to give Scrabble another ago. I had a renewed sense of ambition to win, though I feared what tricks Robby might pull out of his hat this time.

My first slew of letters contained no vowels, so I had to let Robby go first ("oar"). I started out my first 5 turns with only one & a half vowels (A & Y), & although Robby suggested that I give up some letters & risk losing a turn in order to draw better letters from the bag, I just couldn't give up my consonants of many points.

Just when Robby had given up trying to win, he blew me out of the water with his seven-letter word "eq(u)ines", in which the Q sat on a triple-letter space, earning him a total of 93 points. An all-time high for one single letter. He had been drawing many vowels & trading them in for better letters, only to receive vowels again when he drew from the bag.

Robby's best words: "eq(u)ines", "fawn", "unsaid".
My best words: "deign", "undie", "torpor", "coot".

Jeanne 376
Robby 296

P.S. I wouldn't mind being 9-months pregnant a little longer, if only to postpone all the uncertainty that lies ahead. My nine-month mark starts tomorrow, & I have no idea what to expect when early labor begins.

Happy Valentine's Day, Happy Chinese New Year, AND Happy birthday, Robby!

2010-02-14T23:12:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day is always special because it's Robby's birthday.

I planned a few surprise activities today.

First, we began with a breakfast at Bistro du Soleil in Marina del Rey. Robby ordered a poached salmon eggs benedict with avocado. He was very happy with his meal.

Then, we took a sombering spin around the Museum of Tolerance. A bunch a people called Robby with birthday wishes, & when they asked him what he did for his birthday, they would hesitate with uncertainty when they heard that he spent his birthday learning about the Holocaust & modern human trafficking practices. I know, I did not plan the most romantic activity for Valentine's Day, but Robby had never been to the museum before and I thought that he would appreciate the interactive nature of it.

"I can't believe we're bringing a child into this world," Robby said in the middle of the Tolerance exhibit about hate speech. Of course, that's a depressing thought, but I find comfort in knowing that people come to this museum to learn more about our ugly history and what we can do to change it. That's what I want our child to learn from coming to the Museum of Tolerance.

We listened to an Indonesian woman talk about her experience in the human trafficking industry, which is the biggest illegal money-making, international scheme
right under drug trafficking and arms dealing. The talk was sponsored by CAST LA - Coalition to Abolish Slavery & Trafficking. She came to the United States with a wealthy Singaporean family, and she was paid $150 a month to work for them as a housekeeper 18+ hours a day. She told a moving story about her life, eating her bosses' leftovers, learning English from watching Barney, possessing no understanding of English or of the value of her work, driven only by the opportunity to send money back to Indonesia for her daughter's family...She was a brave woman to seek help from the police when she understood that her own exploitation.

After resting at home for a few hours, we drove to Venice Blvd. for dinner at Mayura, an Indian restaurant inspired by Kerala cuisine. The waiter said my Mayura Special Appam Chicken Curry was not at all spicy, but I beg to differ...It was very spicy! Robby had to eat most of it. I ate the appam, a white, spongy bread very much like the bread in Ethiopian restaurants. Robby ordered a fish curry, which had an interesting flavor to it. The next time we come back to Mayura, I'll order a safer, foreign-friendly dish, like tandoori chicken or biriyani, to avoid the spiciness.

We dropped by Zabumba, a gross little dive bar/restaurant also on Venice Blvd. Robby discovered amateur comedy night, in addition to live hip hop & salsa music. The comedians were pretty bad. Luckily, each set was short. The live hip hop was all right, but the speakers were pretty bad. Everyone there was either a performer or a friend of the performer. Disappointed, we left early.

Indulging Robby's action movie urge, we came home and watched the rest of a kungfu French movie called District B13. It has a horrific plot, but it's not the kind of movie you watch for complex plot or meaningful character development. It's all action. There was a few gnarly parkour (originated in France) scenes & lots of well-choreographed fight scenes.

Time to open presents!

Getting out of the House

2010-02-14T22:57:00.000-08:00

Robby & I joined a few friends, Ben, Kiki, Neil, & Jen, at the first annual Los Angeles Street Food Fest, where all the lunch trucks converged in one spot in downtown LA for a eating extravaganza. It began at 11am, so we arrived at 11:15am to find a long line that wrapped around the block. In 75-degree weather, we waited in line for 45 minutes to reach the entrance of the food fest. I thought I might get heat stroke having not eaten in the morning.

As soon as we walked in, we searched for lunch trucks with short lines. They were difficult to find. Kiki & I grabbed some icees & stood in line for Vietnamese sandwiches. Robby, Neil, Ben, & Jen soon joined us & we sat down with Korean tacos as well. I had a deliciously ice-cold Mexican Coke. The food fest offered a tasting of everything in small portions for $2-3, so lines were long & people were patient. I think the longest line was for the grilled cheese taco truck. You'd think that grilled cheese isn't special enough for such a large following, but the truck served fancy sandwiches, like grilled brie with mushrooms. There was also India Jones, which Robby patronized just outside of USC campus. & there was also a slider (tiny hamburger) truck, homemade ice cream sandwiches truck (called Coolhouse...Koolhaus...get it?). We also had exotic popsicles: lemon basil, avocado vanilla, lychee...

Unfortunately, a few of our friends did not enjoy standing under the hot sun for so long. Nor did they like the overwhelming crowd.

So we left after an hour for Robby's video games lab at USC. We stayed indoors for the rest of the afternoon, playing the Nintendo Wii & the Beatles version of Rock Band. After ramen at Mitsuwa Market, we headed back to Culver City to watch Zombieland, which was surprisingly funny & entertaining (in the same vein as the humorous horror movie Shawn of the Dead). Jen & Neil bought a beautiful & tasty Cuban fruit tart for Robby's birthday, & we ate ourselves silly.

On the whole, a wonderful summery Saturday. It felt good to get out of the house for once.

Happy Chinese New Year!

2010-02-13T09:16:00.000-08:00

From the Year of the Ox, we move into the Year of the Tiger!
Happy Chinese New Year!

This year, Chinese New Year falls on Robby's birthday, which also falls on Valentine's Day. He has been talking non-stop about the possibility of our baby being born on his birthday day. As much as this coincidence might impact our future child's identity, Robby is absolutely thrilled by the chance of sharing his birthday.

Yesterday afternoon, we were invited by Jingfang to a Chinese New Year dumpling-making feast. She had invited lots of Chinese graduate students from USC to her home in the lovely Redondo Beach. We got there early, grabbed a volleyball, and headed out to the beach, two blocks away. Then we returned to her apartment & began wrapping dumplings (chives+shrimp, beef). Robby got to make his first dumpling. After awhile, he gave up & volunteered to chop vegetables. By 8pm, everyone had arrived with food & as the Chinese people chattered away by the dining table, the non-speakers of Chinese sat in front of the T.V. & watched the opening of the Olympics in Vancouver. This was followed by a chocolate birthday cake, tiramisu, & a trip up to the roof to see the dark ocean.

It was a fun night full of Chinese people, Chinese food, and Chinese language. Being one of two non-speaking Chinese guests, Robby handled himself well. He always impresses me with his ability to immerse himself in a foreign culture & foreign language. He owes that to his mom, who traveled with him around the world when he was young, & by being around his loving & affectionate Russian family.

What a way to start the new year!

Robby Rules at Scrabble

2010-02-13T08:55:00.001-08:00

Any tips on how to beat Robby at Scrabble?

At first, I was pretty proud of my first word: "docile". But then Robby puts down "flog" & earns 43 points from capturing the triple-word space. Not only that, but I have the gumption to challenge "fe", which turns out being a Hebrew letter. Ugh. Why are Hebrew letters & Chinese words in the Scrabble dictionary? I checked up "li" & found "a Chinese measurement of distance." Ugh. Are Turkish and Danish words in there too?!

Continuing, I lost any hope of winning, so I decided to put down creative, long words instead of point-heavy words. I was only able to come up with "hive", "adroit", "butt", & "garb". Almost got "coitus". That's what happens when one pulls too many vowels.

Robby did the impossible again & put down a seven-letter word: "tirade(s)". Whoa! That really damaged my chances of winning. I played futilely until the very end, dreading each time I had to reach into the bag for new letters.

By the way "mo" is a word.

Robby 372
Jeanne 265

Scrabble isn't always fun...

2010-02-08T20:15:00.000-08:00

Tonight's game was pretty torturous. We cornered ourselves out of the top left-hand corner. Even getting to the lower right & left-hand corners was difficult. You'll see how short our words are. We were straining to get at least 10 points for each word, so our expectations were pretty low. No seven letter words this time.

This time, Robby got three triple-word spaces, while I got two. & the two I got were only measly two-letter words.

Robby 284
Jeanne 272

Post-game ritual: Robby adds the points & Jeanne takes a photo & cleans up.

Robby Wins Again!

2010-02-07T21:55:00.001-08:00

After watching an exciting Superbowl game, we played another game of Scrabble, and Robby won again. I started out strong, but mid-game Robby played a seven-letter word, which was not in the online Scrabble dictionary but was in wiki-dictionary: "retears" (74 points). We made the stupid mistake of not double-checking Robby's tile placement & 6 moves later, I noticed that the word he put down was "rereats". I think we totally ruined the game by missing this error, but we kept playing. I bluffed Robby with a non-existent word - "krag", instead of "crag" - and I lost when I challenged him on his word "om".

Final score:
Robby 329
Jeanne 321

A torturous game after we found out mistake, but a close game nonetheless!

Jeanne's Scrabble Revenge

2010-02-06T23:10:00.000-08:00

After being thoroughly beaten twice by Robby at Scrabble, I finally won tonight's grueling game. Actually, I "pwned" him: 428 to 232. It was by far my best game, mostly due to lucky draws. I consistently drew the perfect balance of consonants & vowels. Plus, I stumbled upon a seven-letter word that I was able to place over a triple-word space: "boori(s)h" (95 points). Robby was able to use a seven-letter word too: "ti(n)gles" (74 points). I was also able use four triple-word spaces: "boori(s)h", "ounce", "feuds", & "qualm". Robby was able to get away with using "exe" and "da", which are not real words. I was afraid to challenge him, so he got away with the points. But I did challenge him the third time, on "pe", which ended up being in the Scrabble online dictionary (a Hebrew word).

I usually don't mind losing to Robby, the Scrabble Master, but tonight, it felt good to win, especially with lots of luck on my side.

Sci-Fi doesn't let us down this time!

2010-02-05T23:26:00.000-08:00

Robby & I finally finished watching Battlestar Galactica tonight. It's awesome. After 6 months of renting this Sy-Fy Channel's show, we completed Season 4.5. Wow, we highly recommend it.

Of course, no T.V. show will ever beat The Wire, but Battlestar Galactica is certainly one of the most entertaining and exciting shows we've watched.

Thumbs up!

Beware of the Scrabble Master

2010-01-30T09:08:00.001-08:00

Robby and I have played Scrabble for the last two nights, and I have had my ego crushed by the Scrabble Master. In each game, he was able to put down all seven letters to gain 50 points on top of his own score. His seven-letter words were "DOUBTER" & "ARRANGE". Plus, in the second game he used "BLITZ" as the first word on the board, which earned him 52 points. His scores: 326 & 385. Mine: 256 & 297. GEEZ.

Afterward, he insisted that we play Boggle because I always win at Boggle & he wanted to make me feel better, but I was so thoroughly decimated by those brutal games that I whimpered back to my computer and busied myself until bedtime!

Who knew that "un" was a word? It means "one" in the Scrabble dictionary. In Spanish?! How could it count on the Scrabble board?! & "ed" is a word in the Scrabble dictionary too. It means "education", but it's an abbreviation! Just a few sly ways that Robby was able to add long words onto mine.

Nesting Phase

2010-01-26T23:33:00.000-08:00

Robby & I was in the nesting phase a few weeks ago. I took down the curtains from our bedroom, then washed and ironed them. I have never ironed curtains before. Robby cleaned out our electronics drawer, and we both cleaned out our closets. I took a 40+ year old Sears dresser from my old room in the O.C. & lined it with pretty green shelf paper. If you've ever seen Freaks & Geeks, it's the same dresser as Lindsay's in her bedroom. A classic, elegant white dress with gold trim that once belonged to my eldest sister. We dropped off 5 bags of belongings to the Goodwill. Robby even wiped the bathroom mini-blinds, the most difficult task in the whole apartment. Now, my closet is filled with boxes labeled "3-6 months" & "6-12 months." Our receiving blankets & diaper cloths are folded. Our changing pad is covered with a waterproof sheet. & I've started packing a labor & postpartum bag.

I've often wished futilely that I could get through this rite of passage (figuratively & literally) without actually experiencing it, that the baby would magically appear in the bassinet & I could forgo the birthing experience, but life just doesn't happen that way.

Holidays are Over, Preparing for Baby

2010-01-17T15:54:00.000-08:00

Robby and I spent three weeks in the Bay Area with my siblings & their daughters. I helped out with the daily activities of my nieces (taking them to school, picking them up, Chinese school, etc.). We had two baby showers - one organized by my former English-teaching colleagues at Paly & the other by my sister. We received lots of useful & cute baby gifts.

Robby left for New Jersey for a week to help his dad & stepmom pack for their move to Connecticut. He predicted that he trip would be a nostalgic and sentimental trip down memory lane, but after a few days of steadily packing up his room, he was hardly emotionally struck by the emptiness of it. The next time we go to the East Coast, we will be heading to Connecticut, unfamiliar territory to me and Robby's new home away from home.

Robby watched Avatar three times & was so inspired by the film that he wrote an article that related it to his dissertation topic. You can find it on his blog. I wasn't so impressed by the movie. If James Cameron spent so many years coming up with the story, couldn't it have been a bit more original? It hardly strayed from the basic imperialist story. I give it an F for storyline, though the immersive 3D quality was very impressive.

We returned to Los Angeles on January 10th and loaded our living room with baby gifts. At this moment, Robby became stunned by the reality of the near future...We're having a baby! & babies come with lots of stuff! We've tried to minimize our baby needs; we simply don't have room for it in our modest one-bedroom apartment. When people pose the commonly asked question, "What gender is your baby?", we say, "We don't know. We're going to wait." Then they ask, "Well, how will you decorate the baby's room?" We say flatly, "The baby is going in the living room." The entitled right that a tiny, little baby needs its own room totally baffles me. Anyway, we are suspicious of the trappings of the ever-growing BABY INDUSTRY, much as we were when we encountered the WEDDING INDUSTRY.

A few days ago, we took an informative, day-long birthing class at Cedar-Sinai Hospital. The instructor demonstrated the baby's pathway through the pelvic bones, explained the different stages of labor, and taught us a few breathing exercises & labor positions. Interesting facts: 37% of the births at Cedar-Sinai are C-sections (wow, so high!) and 95% of the vaginal births involve the epidural. We ended the class by watching a short, graphic video of a woman in labor who undergoes an epidural. The actual birthing was first repulsive then heartwarming to me. I will be relieved once this little sucker is out of my body and breathing & feeding on its own, no longer restlessly kicking all the other organs in the shared space that is my abdomen.

That's all on the baby front.

Happy birthday to our mothers! This month, my mom turned a young 68 & Robby's mom turned a mature 49. The age difference of our family members still seem puzzling to us sometimes. Robby's stepmom is celebrating her birthday too this month. Happy birthday, everyone!

Officially now a yuppie family

2009-12-16T17:31:00.000-08:00

Robby & I ambitiously sent out our first Christmas cards - 100 of them. What a feat. It took me two days to order the photos, write the holiday letter, buy the stamps, & assemble the envelopes. I sure love Costco.

Lots of things going on.

My grandpa Gong Gong passed away on Friday, December 11th, three days before my birthday. The funeral is in two days at Rose Hill Memorial Home in Whittier.

Gong Gong died at 96 years old, and before his fall and hip injury, he had few physical ailments - prostate cancer (common in older men), asthma, blindness, & deafness. I know 40-some-year-old people who take twice as many medications as he was taking before he died. His healthy took a downward spiral after the hip injury. Sitting in a hospital bed 24/7 sometimes seems more harmful than helpful, but he had a lot of healing to do & daily mobility was out of the question. Last week, he had a stroke in the majority of the left hemisphere of his brain. This affected the right side of his body. This also put him in the ICU for 2 days. My family went back and forth about life support. Luckily, his death was painless and quick, and my grandmother did not have to see his body invaded by tubes of fluids, running on man-made machines. She has lived her life for him more than for herself, so his death starts a new life for her at 89 years old.

Deaths and births have been occurring simultaneously in our family recently. Last summer, my paternal grandmother died less than a month before my niece was born. Robby and my wedding was shortly after that. This year, my sister gave birth to twins over Thanksgiving, and three weeks later, Gong Gong dies.

I can't say that any of this unfair in any sort of way. Our genes are resilient in old age, and we live for a very long time. When I was a child, I knew that I was very lucky to have known all my grandparents and that at one point in my life they would all wither and pass in a short period of time. I've so fortunate to have spent so much time with them.

I'm now 30 weeks pregnant & supposed to see the doctor every 2 weeks. Baby is doing well - kicking & punching all the time, like there's an earthquake in my belly. It's a strange feeling to have a little being incubating in my body.

Thanksgiving is finally over!

2009-12-02T21:30:00.000-08:00

Robby's mom flew over from Germany and brought us lots of gifts. One large, hard-covered suitcase had nothing but goodies from Frankfurt: 6 bags of muesli, chocolate with hazelnut (our favorite), marzipan, delicious traditional German Christmas cookies, olive oil, a bottle of kids' carbonated drink called "Robby's bubble", bedding for the baby, etc. It was so overwhelming!

Ma only spent 3 days with us. We took her for Indian food (pani puri, mmm), sushi, Mexican, and a big American breakfast. We also saw the Globe Theater from England perform Shakespeare's Love's Labour Lost at Santa Monica College. We helped her buy a Macbook and took her to frolic in the lovely aisles of Target. We also had Shanghai-nese dim sum with my parents. It was a wonderful weekend.

Then, we had a hectic Thanksgiving weekend that involved a seven-hour drive up to San Francisco. It usually takes 5 hours. We thought we were clever to leave on Tuesday, but we left our house at 4pm & hit traffic on the 405 through West LA. Not fun.

Nonetheless, visiting family is always a blast. Tiring, but fun. My oldest sister gave birth to a set of cute girl twins on Wednesday. We participated in a birthday dinner and birthday party for my four-year-old niece. Robby watched Ninja Assassin. We had a delicious Thanksgiving dinner with 13 family members, including an auntie who was visiting from Beijing whom I hadn't seen in six years.

We spent another seven hours driving down to Los Angeles on Sunday night (with a million other travelers). It feels good to be home with our fish Practice Three.

Time to buckle down and finish these two terms papers. They're due next Tuesday, and my fall semester at USC will be over! Now, if I could only finish these papers...

P.S. Baby kicks all the time.

Tummy Explodes from 5th to 6th month

2009-11-15T19:11:00.000-08:00

Month Four was a honeymoon period for me. My constant fatigue disappeared, my appetite grew, and I had the energy of a body sans baby. My fifth month has put a damper on my energy. Fatigue has rolled back into my late mornings, and, with my growing appetite, my tummy has ballooned. I strain to tie my shoelaces or wash my feet in the shower, and if I'm active for too long my back begins to ache.

On a happy note, the fetus has started kicking regularly, especially when I sit at rest. It is a disconcerting and eerie feeling. The first time, I had a magazine propped on my tummy, and, while I read, the magazine would suddenly pop up. Sometimes, I catch a sharp, quick, bulging movement from the corner of my eye as my body feels a jolt on the side that the baby has kicked. Robby has also been so pleased that he can feel the presence of the baby too. I wonder if it gets motion sickness. I imagine it, floating around as if in a zero-gravity chamber, with its eyes shut tightly. Then I imagine it stretching its arms and legs (that's when I feel the kicking).

This pregnancy phenomenon is no stranger than science fiction, which has spawned a plethora of stories about beings growing inside of other beings. When I think about Aliens, I forget that this is a very human, very common occurrence.

Robby has been extremely busy in the last few weeks. He had a paper submission deadline on Friday, November 6th, for the ICA (International Communication Association) Conference. He is determined to go to its conference in Singapore next May, so he submitted five papers. He is eager to take me & our 3-month-old baby as well. We'll see about that!

Robby also attended the Presence Conference in Marina del Rey this past week. That meant a lot of entertaining of out-of-towners, drinking, karoake, networking, late nights, etc. I participated when I could, but left Robby to his own devices most evenings. This kept him away from Counterstrike. Plus, we had two swell Swiss guests, Bart & David, stay in our living room for a week. They explored Los Angeles, enjoyed large American breakfasts, ate a few hamburgers, checked out Annenberg's video games lab, and frequented a few hopping bars in Los Angeles. They appreciated out 75-degree weather over Switzerland's 3-degree weather. & they said that one would never be able to find American coffee anywhere in Switzerland, where everyone drinks espressos.

I have two large final papers due at the beginning of December, when the fall semester ends. I'm finding it difficult to be motivated enough to sit down & actually write them. Frankly, it has felt like pulling teeth. I've turned to the Huffington Post & Hulu to distract me. I haven't felt this amount of procrastination in a long time, and I'm ashamed that I can't be more productive. Oh, that's also why I'm writing his blog entry - to avoid writing these final papers.

What's on our plate these days?

2009-11-06T07:10:00.000-08:00

Hello, everyone!

October was a rough and tumble month, & it won't stop until the Christmas holiday.
Robby and I traveled up to San Francisco for my sister's baby shower during the first weekend of October. We compared bellies and traded pregnancy experiences. Robby and I made it to Bea & Eric's birthday party - bowling at Strikes! in Cupertino, a way-too-cool place for a not-too-cool city. A lot of over-stimulation, if you ask me.

Then we drove up to the Bay Area again a few weeks later for Robby's 5th year reunion at Stanford. That the first time I felt like a trophy wife. Throughout the opening social night, Robby dragged me around the Computer History Museum and announced that he got married and was having a baby. I was the living proof. He would point to my belly with a satisfied look on his face.

I got a chance to observe three fabulous teachers at Dorsey High ad reconnected with some old colleagues from 2000 when I was teaching there and getting my credential and masters. The campus is beautiful as always, and the kids are vibrant and energetic.

We visited a perinatologist and saw 3D images of our baby. That was a bit scary. It looked like a roughly sculpted figure from Rodin's Gate of Hell.

Robby's dad & stepmom came for a few days. Robby & his dad had a heated political and philosophical discussion/argument over Korean BBQ. & we took them to San Gabriel for $15/hour massages & a visit to my super-cool aunties.

Halloween was a blast. We spent the afternoon decorating our front porch with our neighbor Sandra's outdoor decorations. Robby threw on his Jesus costume & I dressed up as Juno (yeah, a lazy-man's costume). I kept a tally of the number of trick-or-treaters, and our total was 170!! Lots of princesses this year. My favorite costumes were the ones where the parents matched the kids. Robby gave kids over 10 a math problem, like 34 + 17. I was pretty disappointed that they were slow to calculate these double-digit numbers in their head. My niece is already adding double digits in her head and she's six! Originally, we wanted a quiet evening with a horror movie, but we ended up having 7 people over in our little apartment. We watched 28 Weeks Later (not bad) & the boys played knee hockey with a newspaper ball wrapped in masking tape. It was a fun evening.

On a sad note, my grandpa fell at home and fractured his hip, so my recent weeks have been full of visits to Orange County. For a 95 year old, he has improved dramatically since his partial hip replacement. I'm very proud of him. As much as he moans and complains, he has the will to survive this accident. He's still got a mighty set of lungs too. Hear him hell in his cantankerous way, and you wouldn't think he was in the hospital last week.

As for the bun in my oven, it's brewing nicely. I'm getting bigger much faster than I expected. Robby felt the baby kick for the first time last night. At first, he thought that the movement was an involuntary tightening of a stomach muscle, but I had to remind him that I haven't used my stomach muscles in months! Nope, that was the baby moving around. I feel it most when I'm sitting in a reclining position.

I hope you all had an eventful and happy October. Gearing up for Thanksgiving yet?

Back in the Bay...Soon to return to LA

2009-10-05T11:38:00.001-07:00

Robby and I are back in the bay, visiting friends & family, universities and work places, & attending my sister's baby shower. 43 people showed up at her baby shower - 29 adults & 14 kids. It was a noisy and fun event.

I spent some quality time with my nieces, whom I adore. They are such amazing little creatures. They certainly need training. They need to learn how to speak to politely to strangers. They need to learn how to be respectful towards and play well with each other. They need to clean up their toys after they finish playing with them. They need to brush their teeth every morning before they go to school. They need to allow adults to have their adults conversations instead of interrupting all the time. They need to listen to their parents. But they are still pretty awesome little girls.

We were watching Madagascar 2 on DVD, & the eldest child says, "This is so happy, I could cry!" & before she went outside to get picked up for school, she gave Robby a hug while he was still in bed, and she said, "Don't hug me for too long, or I won't want to go!" She is so sweet and sincere sometimes. When we talked to the middle sister about her tendency to make every statement a question by ending with "...right?", we tried to teach her about having self-confidence. We told her she was smart, kind, and friendly & that she should believe in herself. She interrupted, "Jie jie (Big Sister) is always smart....she's ALWAYS smart... she told me so..." & Robby almost taught the littlest one to say his name. She would walk up to his iPhone, tilt her head curiously, and smile widely with four teeth showing. So cute!

We love kids!

I can't wait to play with my oldest sister's twins!

Why I hate the health care industry

2009-09-25T12:31:00.001-07:00

i really hate the health care industry. i inquire about fees at the doctor's office, & they say, "we can't tell you. it depends on your insurance plan" & won't even tell me their flat rates. i call the insurance company, & the rep. says, "we can't tell you the costs because it depends on the doctor's fees." both sides try to obfuscate the information in order to discourage patients from asking about costs. they want us to pay as we go without questioning the charges! one rep. at cedar-sinai says it costs $32,000 to have a baby there but added that the cost was arbitrary... what?! do doctors & hospitals charge diffferent amounts depending on the insurance company? i think i miss kaiser...
we're healthy people with no medical problems. we just want to find out how much it costs to have a baby. why is the information so difficult to find?

Hospital fees

2009-09-25T12:24:00.000-07:00

Hmmm...
It looks like delivering at Cedar-Sinai Hospital in Beverly Hills cost twice as much as delivering at UCLA-Santa Monica Hospital, even though UCLA-Santa Monica Hospital houses a brand-spanking-new maternity ward.

How do we make sense of that? Is it the convenience of having a NICU (neo-natal intensive care unit) in Cedar-Sinai that raises its cost? Is it its location and its supposed service to Hollywood movie stars?

Although we love our current OB, we may have to jump to a third one (!!) in order to avoid delivering at Cedar-Sinai.

Plus, we just found out that adding a dependent on Anthem Blue Cross will cost over $500/month. Ridiculous!

All this health insurance research gives me a daily headache!

Two full-time students & a baby on the way...

2009-09-21T15:47:00.000-07:00

"I'm so glad you didn't wait until you finished school! You're so OLD! You can do it! We did it when we were young..." were Jeanne's mom's words right after they announced their oncoming addition.

So the impending due date is in mid-February, though there's some discussion & vagueness about the fetus's age. Our first OB did not do an ultrasound & calculated the age with the first day of Jeanne's last menstrual cycle. &, apparently, measuring the top of the head of the fetus in order to determine age is not as accurate measuring the belly & femur. According to the diameter of the top of the head, the fetus is 19 weeks old. But the other measurements indicate that Jeanne is now 17 weeks. A big difference, apparently.

Robby is back the PhD office, playing racquetball twice a week, sitting in on his advisor's class on the video-game industry, & TAing a basic communication theory class. He loves teaching & wishes he had two sections instead of one. At home, he plays Counterstrike on the Christian server, so when he turns on the speaker, Jeanne gets to hear, "God bless" & "Jesus is the answer to everything! What's 1 + 1? JESUS!" The players on the Christian server do not curse or disparage one another, like players do on other servers, so Robby enjoys playing with them, though he remarked recently that late night when no one was monitoring players' comments, he heard some heftily misogynistic statements. But, he gets to ask lots of questions about Christianity while shooting the terrorists and counter-terrorists in the game.

Jeanne has started a Doctor in Education program at USC. She is currently taking an Educational Psychology class called Learning & a Diversity class. Ed psych is completely new to her, but Diversity is more familiar, & she is weekly inspired by her Diversity professor. Even though she is only a month into the program, she finds herself closer to forming a dissertation idea. It feels good to be in school again.

Today, we're sitting at a secret place in Santa Monica - a community center in part funded by the Annenberg Foundation & city of Santa Monica. We've got a patio that overlooks a 1920s marble swimming pool, a wide beach, & the Pacific Ocean. It is so breathtaking here, but we can't but feel like we're intruding on the lives of the rich & famous. We were brought here by buddies Patrick & Michelle, our favorite Canadians. Unfortunately, the employees here locked the outlets so we don't get the "phat" power that Patrick claimed they got previous visits here. It seems that they don't want people like us sitting here all day lounging with our laptops. As if they can't afford the electricity pumped out from a few laptops!

It's beautiful in Los Angeles this time of year, especially at the beach. We don't come to beach nearly as much as we should. The intense summer heat has passed & our apartment is no longer sweltering. Our beta fish Three (or Practice Three) is a happy new member of the family. We talk to Three all the time & he responds by swimming around ferociously.

It's wonderful.

We've started school & we're pregnant!

2009-08-29T15:11:00.000-07:00

Robby and I have finally started our first week of school at USC.

The weather is in the unbearably 90s. An oppressively warm breeze flows through Culver City, which means that the air sits still on the USC campus, which is at least 15 miles inland. The stifling heat is intolerable, so I seek cooler temperatures in Doheny Library & the Annenberg building. But the air conditioning is so cold, that I end up getting the sniffles. Ugh, my body is not good at regulating temperature.

Despite the horrible summer temperatures, I'm very happy to be starting the Doctor of Education program at USC. Everyone has been SO nice.

Robby is also happy to start the new semester. He has a new set of impressionable undergraduate minds to mold, and he needs to start his dissertation soon. Plus, he's a 4th year & closer to being done!

Also, WE'RE PREGNANT!

We found out Japan at the end of June. We went to a pharmacy & Robby performed a funny pantomine of a pregnant woman.

A few weeks ago, I went to the USC Medical Center thinking I would just pee on a stick to get a confirmation. But after twirling her round calendar, the nurse practitioner pulled out the ultrasound machine and VOILA! I could see a little fetus with a big head & tiny heartbeat. Wow. I also saw its butt, spine, & toes. It was quite emotionally overwhelming. I wish Robby had been there. He probably would have teared up, like me.

Robby made a cute magic video for our parents. In it, he hosts a magic show that turns into a baby announcement. iMovie is awesome! We showed my parents first, then waited for Robby's mom & stepdad to wake up in Germany so that we wouldn't wake them up at too obscene an hour. Robby's dad & stepmom saw the video in the evening. After the parents & family members were told, we unleashed the video on facebook. You can watch it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulp8LsTuWOs

Luckily, I have not experienced any morning sickness. Thus, I've been denying the pregnancy for the past three months. I simply haven't felt ANY changes in my body since conception. I thought my slight weight gain came from traveling & eating too much in Japan & New Jersey (like that chili hot dog at Prestige Diner). Actually, fatigue is my only symptom. Phew! I don't mind sleeping.

Oh, we've decided not to call IT a "fetus" but a "guppy". Fetus is too scientific, & though IT probably doesn't look like a guppy anymore, we figured "guppy" was cute enough.

Japan in Culver City

2009-08-05T08:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Robby & I rode our bikes past downtown Culver City into the artsy gallery district that surrounds the ever-so-popular Father Office (gourmet burgers without ketchup for $14; we've reviewed in it in a previous blog entry). On Washington Blvd., we rode by a Japanese-inspired gallery & cafe called Royal-T. All sorts of creepy vinyl dolls were displayed behind big windows, so we decided to stop and explore the gallery a bit. The large gallery had modern art of modern materials (plastic, vinyl, acrylic paint, figurines, etc.). The gallery works generally had a superhero theme: photos of aged superheros (a dejected Wonder Woman standing outside a mobile home...). The cafe stood in the center of the gallery and the waitresses were dressed up as maids. Maids! Just like the ones in the maid cafes in Tokyo! The first thing I thought was, If I were a gaijin opening this Japanese-inspired gallery, the first thing I would bring is a maid cafe. We Americans love novelties, especially ones that take the form of adolescent, submissive Asian women in pigtails and French maid outfits. There were about 4 parties there, all cool looking young people, not the way-cool, too-cool-to-make-eye-contact-with-you hipsters in Hollywood or Silverlake, but cool for Culver City.
It was a weird but pleasant reminder of our time in Japan.

Another quick recapitulation of our recent activities

2009-08-03T17:52:00.000-07:00

Where to begin?
Robby & I have been settling back into life away from family. We're starting to cook again. We've been more adventurous in exploring our surrounding areas, like venturing to the Whole Foods in Santa Monica. It's an expensive supermarket, but Robby likes the healthy options. We have been riding our bikes around town for the past three days, meandering through unfamiliar neighborhoods and finding short cuts to our favorite places. It's amazing how much more one notices when she is on a bicycle.

What else?...

Movies! We love movies. Here are a few movies we've seen in the past month:

1. Public Enemies: BOOOOOO. It's a typical movie that glorifies the gangster, like Al Pacino's Scarface. Unfortunately, positive reviews in the N.Y. Times and New Yorker led me to suggest this movie. The cinematography is gorgeous, the costumes & 1920s setting are consistent & detailed (this is what the critics loved most about the movie), but the story & characters were flat.

2. Persepolis: I'm a big fan of the graphic novel. The film is very good; I cried a few times. It's tragic, humorous, dark, somber, touching. Plus, it's educational. I highly recommend it.

3. (500) Days of Summer: Zooey Deschanel is absolutely charming! This humorous break-up film is unconventional compared to the cookie-cutter Hollywood romances. It's a romance that is bound to topple. As a viewer, you see the signs early on, but since the film is from the point-of-view of the sappy, romantic male protagonist, you have to spend a few hours watching him step closer and closer to the epiphany that his girlfriend doesn't love him & does whatever she wants. It's got a fabulous soundtrack. & I love Zooey Deschanel's 1950s wardrobe.

4. Funny People: This is a serious movie about stand-up comedians. It's funny, but it's more serious than funny. I think that's probably why it received mediocre reviews in the N.Y. Times; it doesn't quite fit into a specific genre. Like all Apatow movies, the female roles are rough and shallow sketches of possibly complex characters. The male characters are given much more depth and sympathy. Seth Rogen is a likable actor, whereas Adam Sandler will never come across as down-to-earth and sincere. We were impressed that the opening footage of Sandler's crank calls were done when he and Apatow were roommates. All in all, I give it a B.

I think that's it for now.

Back in Los Angeles

2009-07-27T09:18:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. It has been awhile since we've updated our blog.
Since the last entry, we've...

1. celebrated our one-year anniversary by watching Johnny Depp's Public Enemies (boo!), having a sushi dinner at our favorite restaurant in the Peninsula, Momoya on Shoreline Blvd. in Mountain View, rented Clint Eastwood's 1964 Fistful of Dollars because we were disappointed with Public Enemies, took bites of our freezer-burned wedding cake (gross! Robby took at least three bites!), & exchanged gifts; read the first three Twilight novels in three days & neglected my childcare duties; hated myself for being unable to stop reading those trashy novels;

2. babysat my 3 nieces with my mom. Their parents were in Japan, so I helped take & pick them up for school, send them to swim class, etc.;

3. flew to Philadelphia & spent three days with Uncle Tom & Aunt Pat. Ate in the Little Italy area of Philly & toured University of Pennsylvania & the Annenberg School for Communication;

4. hung out with Karen's kids, went to a farm to pet some animals, and walked along a creek to catch toads, frogs & crayfishes;

5. attended cousin Patrick's wedding reception at Patti's sister's house in Bucks County, where most of the houses hang a big bronze star outside their door. Out of the 160 guests, we were 2 of 4 non-white people, so we got some curious looks. I was complimented in the strangest way: "You're like a glass doll, a little glass doll that you find in the 99-cent store!";

6. spend a week in New Providence, New Jersey, with Robby's dad & stepmom: went to the diner (of course), visited Robby's friends, watched Bruno, went to the city to visit Flo, Sima & Nina. Hung out with Flo's kids, had dinner at Sima's with Nina, Joe, & Robby's parents. Explored Brooklyn's Prospect Park, Botanical Garden, & Park Slop neighborhood. Was compared to the perpetually stoned Asian girlfriend in Knocked Up (who looks NOTHING like me). Met a few of Sima's lovely lawyer friends. Went to the anomalous, too-cool-to-be-here Van Gogh's Ear Cafe in Millburn;

7. flew back to San Francisco, helped with the nieces, & bonded with the one year old. Watched (500) Days of Summer with my cousin Jennifer & shocked the the reviews from the New Yorker & the N.Y. Times are completely opposite;

8. and drove back to Los Angeles sans Robby, who is still in New Jersey right now. Tried to temper my use of air conditioning as I drove through 100-degree weather on the 5 highway. Settled back into our Culver City apartment.

All the while thinking about our wonderful trip to Japan, recalling Japanese toilets every time I walk into a public restroom.

Back in the Bay Area

2009-06-30T11:28:00.000-07:00

We still have some miscellaneous blog entries to write on Japan. Robby owes one entry devoted to Japanese toilets, and we have some random observation we'd like to put in a "potpourri" entry.

I started reading Dave Barry Does Japan, written in 1992. This comedic writer does Japan in 3 weeks, like us. He doesn't tout to be a Japan expert; on the contrary, he states that this book is entirely subjective, so don't come to it if you want expert advice. He gives interesting insight, & I am finding that his observations are similar to ours. So pick up this entertaining if you ever find yourself on a plane to Japan. You'll finish it in fewer than 4 hours, so you could watch a few movies & finish a book on the plane ride to Tokyo.

Reviews of Frommer's Lodging Recommendations

2009-06-25T14:19:00.000-07:00

We enjoyed reviewing our lodgings in Turkey, so here are our reviews of our lodgings in Japan. This is one way of evaluating the Frommer's Guide to Japan, so maybe you'll find it helpful.

We tried to stay mostly in ryokans, & they varied. We never got the full luxurious ryokan experience - kaiseiki meal, etc. - because we were on a budget. We averaged about $84/night for the two of us, the most expensive being the last hotel in Tokyo (it had a private bath). Ryokan rooms are usually measured by the number of tatami mats that fit inside. They provide tatami mats, not spring mattresses, so you sleep on the floor, but some will offer Western rooms. Usually, there is a low coffee table, a hot water kettle, some tea, towels, & yukatas (robes that you can wear to & from the bathroom & inside the hotel).

Comfort was important, of course. Robby preferred rooms with private bathrooms, but that's rare in a Japanese ryokan, where communal bathrooms include an onsen, a "public" hot tub to soak in. All rooms had air conditioning.

Each rate below is listed for two people, & all these hotels have laundry machines available. The conversion rate is $1USD = 1.04JPY right now.

1. Tokyo: Kimi Ryokan
- 6,500JPY/twin double (approx. $67USD)
- located in the Ikebukuro area of Tokyo (a busy, lively area but not as exciting as Shinjuku, Harajuku, Shibuya, or Roppongi. nevertheless, only a few subway stops away from those trendy areas.)
- reserved the smallest double room available, which was the size of two tatami mats & a little more (to walk around them). Thank goodness there was window that opened a little .
- perpetually musty stench on our floor, maybe because the hot tub was located across from our room. So you reserve a room here, request any floor but the second.
- men & women's bathroom on each floor, as well as a communal sink area & two shower stalls.
- rooms cleaned every 3 days
- communal kitchen area with refrigerator, hot water kettle, dishes & utensils, & TV
- wireless Internet access available only on first floor
- curfew (11pm-7am) is enforced
- hotel & room very clean.
- all the clerks professional but stand offish, almost unfriendly. won't initiate help unless you press them.
- recommended (esp. considering the low rate)

2. Kyoto: Gojo Guesthouse
- 6,000JPY/double (approx. $62USD)
- not recommended in Frommer's (but should be!)
- listed as being located in Gion District, but is a 15-20 min. walk from Gion action
- 5-7 min. walk from nearest bus stop on Higashiyama
- walking distance to Kiyomizu Temple
- large double room with sliding windows - clean, spacious, comfortable
- cute, creative touches everywhere
- wireless Internet available
- atmosphere: serene, laid back, easy going, a Lonely Planet type of place (isn't listed in it, but should be!)
- cafe on first floor (reggae & international music playing all day)
- communal kitchen & living room area (refrigerator, stove, dishes & utensils)
- laundry machines available
- friendly, interesting, helpful clerks (we hung out with a few on our last night)
- no curfew (automatic lock on front door with a secret code)
- no yukatas or towels available
- no onsen
- communal showers are difficult (you have to hang your clothes over a bar in the shower stall, no changing area)
- recommended (by far, our favorite lodging in all of Japan!)

3. Kyoto: Rakucho Ryokan
- 8,400JPY/double (approx. $88USD - discount if you pay by cash)
- very far away from Kyoto action
- nearest tourist site is the Kinkakuji Pavilion (Temple of the Golden Pavilion)
- extremely clean, quiet, & homely
- new fixtures everywhere (onsen has an adjacent showering area)
- lots of English signs
- large room with A.C.
- our room faced a small garden
- recommended (but beware: it's in a remote location)

4. Takayama: Minshuku Kuwantani-ya
- 8,000JPY/double (approx. $83USD)
- near Takayama JR station
- we moved from a small double room to one twice as large.
- clean, spacious
- TV, hot water, tea, & small fridge available in the room
- large women's bathing area (changing room with vanity table & large onsen with 6 showering "stalls")
- laundry machines available in the carport area
- rooms cleaned daily
- no wireless Internet access (but public computer in the front room)
- no communal areas
- unattractive dark red motel carpeting
- nice staff - owner understands but does not speak English
- recommended (great bathroom & location)

5. Nagoya: Ryokan Meiryu
- 8,400JPY/double (approx. $88USD)
- located in central Nagoya (take two subways from the JR Nagoya station)
- mainly a business man's hotel
- entire hotel has an undesirable, unclean feeling (dark red motel carpeting, old fixtures, dark)
- small room with TV
- our room faced the side of a concrete building
- reminded us of our hotel in Ankara, Turkey, but not as bad (Robby found stains on his pillowcase in Hotel Pinar in Ankara)
- good-sized women's bathroom (changing area, three shower "stalls" near a small onsen)
- not recommended (much too expensive for a hotel in nasty Nagoya)

6. Tokyo: Annex Katsutaro
- 10,500JPY/double ($109USD)
- located in Ueno Park area
- wonderful 15-20 min. walk to nearest JR station (Nippori) - pass little neighborhood shops & stores
- bus stop across the street goes to Ueno station
- far from the action (30 min. travel to Harajuku, Shibuya, etc.)
- concrete, modern, 3-story hotel in a traditional Japanese neighborhood
- small, clean room with private bath
- room is cleaned daily
- laundry machines available
- no wireless Internet access, but two public computers & a printer on first floor
- curfew (11pm-7am) enforced, but you can get in after curfew with a secret code to a side door
- okay staff (only the older woman is friendly)
- recommended (begrudgingly because its rate is still lower than most hotels or ryokans in Tokyo)

On the whole, we were not satisfied with Frommer's Guide to Japan. We did not like the restaurant recommendations - many were too expensive or not Japanese but French, Indian, or American food. It recommends Wolfgang Puck Express in Harajuku! We were flabbergasted about that. Also, the guide book did not suit our low budget needs. We might have preferred the Lonely Planet, which is written more for budget travelers.

Ja mata, Japan!

2009-06-24T16:08:00.000-07:00

We are leaving Japan today. So sad!
Our flight from Narita Airport takes off at 6:30pm.
Hopefully, we'll spend the morning with my sister, then trudge to the airport with all our belongings.

We still owe a few posts:

1. a review of all our lodgings,
2. all the weird, random things we notice about Japanese culture,
3. Japanese toilets, &
4. our observations about gender.

We'll do those on the plane.
When we get back to, as Robby the East Coaster puts it, CALI, we have two weddings to attend within the next few weeks. Then we're off to school. Robby begins Year 4 at USC's Annenberg School for Communication, & I will be starting at USC's Rossier School of Education on a doctorate in education. We can't be bookworms forever, but we'll enjoy while it lasts!

As for now, ja mata, Japan! We hope to come back some day!

Tokyo Imperial Villa: BOO! Toto Showroom: YAY!

2009-06-22T16:38:00.000-07:00

This morning, we have a 10am reservation for a tour of the Tokyo Imperial Villa. We are herded into a large visiting room with 40 Japanese tourists & handed audio guides. We are directed to use the restroom or browse the gift shop before we set off on imperial grounds, for there are no restroom breaks on this 2.2-km, 1.25-hour walk. In our group of approximately 40, only 4-8 of us need English translation & they thrust little machines at us. One guard leads us with a megaphone, giving out information in Japanese & occasionally blurting out, “English audio guide: Number Eleven.” Two other guards follow the perimeter of the group, roughly directing us to walk on the left side of the road or chiding an individual when he strays too far from the group to take a picture. The uniformed, middle-aged guards are brusque and callous, & in order to rush us, one says, “Prease walking.” When the group crosses a bridge into the imperial villa, we are warned verbally & on the audio guide against walking on the raised sidewalk near the railing because it is dangerous. The uptight guards are one factor that ruin our tour experience.

The pace of the tour is incredibly slow. There is no attempt to communicate with foreigners except “English audio guide: Number Twelve.” We cover very little ground in an hour. The audio guide itself is a waste of time as well. It gives minimal information, probably not nearly enough compared to the tour guide’s explanations. The audio guide barely describes the architecture of the buildings & says nothing of the emperor’s life except that he emerges from the imperial villa a few times a year - New Year’s & his birthday on December 23rd - to receive applaud & address the people. When we return to the visiting room, nobody is allowed to neither use the restroom or peruse the souvenir shop. We are quickly herded back to the entrance of the villa & set loose.

The entire tour of the Tokyo Imperial Villa is a waste of time. Don’t go! Sure, the fact that grounds are still in use by the royal family & its employees might justify tight security, but the tour is too limited & restricted to really enjoy. If the tour group were broken into smaller groups & the guides more friendly, multi-lingual, & informational, this tour would be more enjoyable. Robby thinks that the guards’ anxiety stems from a fear of liability. The audio guide warns us to watch our step on the slope. What if one of us tripped & fell on this 15-degree hill? Neither of us think that the Japanese sue much, but there must be a reason for the tour’s draconian attitude. We consider that they are concerned about our well-being, but that can't be true because the tour wouldn't have stunk worse than a rancid fish market.

After being thoroughly disappointed by the lame tour, we head back to the hotel for some rest. In the afternoon, we set out for Shinjuku in search of the Toto showroom. We find a police station, receive directions, & find ourselves on a fast elevator 27 floors above the Shinjuku skyline. In case you are unfamiliar with this brand, Toto is a superb company that produces efficient bathroom & kitchen appliances & fixtures. It is most known for its technologically advanced toilets. Many toilets in the showroom automatically raised their lids when approached by a user. They all have panels that display multiple features, such as the bidet spray (with at least 3 settings; two for men, one for women). Of course, the toilet seats are heated. The most expensive toilet has a digital display & costs $11,000. Toto also makes tiny sinks for tiny bathrooms. These sinks are about 10 inches wide & 6 inches deep. The faucet comes out of the top of the sink, & water drops vertically. When I first saw one of these tiny sinks in Amsterdam, I was blown away by the space-saving size. Toto’s kitchen faucets are also impressive. Their bathtubs, like all Japanese tubs, are small but deep, & some shower heads are stalks with faucets on the side & squirt water horizontally as well as vertically.

Experiencing a unique Toto product will change your whole toilet & bathing experience. But be ready to pay a pretty penny for these water-efficient, high-tech appliances.

The Shinjuku area is relatively crowded for a Monday night. I don’t like walking through Kabuki-cho, where loitering men hawk their female goods (“hostesses”), so we walk through the shopping area. We end up really liking UniQlo, the Japanese version of Gap but larger & of better quality. The clothes are simple & in solid colors, but the quality of the material is durable & comfortable. Robby purchases a pair of convertible pants that are so short that they hardly need to be convertible. I buy a t-shirt dress & layered skirt. We spend about $52 on these three pieces. Then we go to Taito Games & spend $14 on the funnest video games! One involves jumping & racing on a pogo stick. There are a few good first-person shooter games. In one, called Spice Island, we are two tourists on a back of a Jeep, shooting giant tarantulas & wasps. Then there is another called Razing Storm (I think), which was like Time Crisis but the player has a shield. Robby likes it better than Time Crisis. Of course, we play Super Mario Kart too, the arcade version which doesn't exist in the U.S. Robby is extremely happy that I can have fun at an arcade. If you hate noise, don’t walk into these arcades. The noise is incessant & thunderous, & you’ll walk out with a booming headache.